A Child's Heart

"What we need to learn from children isn't childish.  Being with them connects us to the deep wisdom of life, which is everpresent and only asks to be lived.  Now, when the world is so confused and its problems so complicated, I feel we need our children more than ever.  Their natural wisdom points the way to solutions that lie, waiting to be recognized, within our own hearts."

Michael wrote these beautiful words in his book, Dancing the Dream in 1992.  Could they BE more true than they are today?  We know this quote, we know that Michael loved children. but do we really believe that he meant it when he said they have the solutions to the world's problems?  I think he really did mean it, and I have come to realize that we, as adults, do not give credit to the wisdom of children.  We think they are cute, we think they need our guidance, we think we know so much more than they do.  These things are true in many ways, but maybe not in ways that matter as much as we think they do.  

Michael also said, 

In their innocence, very young children know themselves to be light and love. If we will allow them, they can teach us to see ourselves the same way. This week, I have been shown that maybe it is the children who are going to heal the planet and our hearts and teach us to choose love.   Just because children are younger than us, smaller than us, less educated than us, does NOT mean that they are less wise, less evolved, less intuitive, less knowing, less capable of great insight.   Michael knew the truth of this, he told us in many ways, songs, speeches, and by his actions.     The magic, the wonder, the mystery and the innocence of a child's heart are the seeds of creativity that will heal the world. I really believe that."           Michael, my beautiful Love, Jackson My money is on Michael, and the children.

Double Wild

One might not expect a casino to be a place of spiritual devotion.  I certainly didn't think very highly or kindly about casinos up until a month ago.  I have always thought that they preyed on people's weaknesses and promote vices such as drinking and smoking.  I still know that this is part of what they are, a big part, but I have also learned something else.  Any place can be a place of Love and devotion. It doesn't have to be reserved for churches, parks or meditation practice.   Yesterday I visited a casino with my son.   A huge, new beautiful building with a spectacular view and a Hilton hotel adjoining.  Of course, the only thing I wanted to see were the Michael Jackson slot machines.   We found them!   I sat in the chair, looking up at Michael on the screen.  Watching gloves, and fedoras and sunglasses spinning in front of me,  I was in heaven!  It didn't matter if I was winning or losing money, I felt Michael's presence and I was thrilled to be hearing his music and seeing him dance in a public place.  I was talking to him in my mind (not wanting to shock my son too much) and enjoying myself thoroughly.  The balance of money I had fluctuated up and down, but I had set myself a limit of what I would spend and felt free to let it go, choosing to not let the gambling aspect over ride my enjoyment of a public, as well as personal,  Michael experience.  We were there for an hour or so, and in the end I had more money than I started with.  That was a great bonus, but the real winning for me was to see that a place itself is neither good or bad.  It's what we bring to it, and how we view it, that creates our experience of it.  Michael asks us to open our minds and hearts to new experiences, expect the unexpected and see everything through the eyes of  Love.   Thank you Michael, for encouraging me to let go of my preconceived ideas about casinos, people, and the way I see the world.

People make me want to Scream

Even before Michael came into my life I always believed that Heaven was meant to be lived on Earth.  I felt that my purpose here was to find out how to make that happen for myself.  I did not ever believe in Hell, except as a choice in the way we live our lives now.  I still believe these things, and Michael has helped me be able to experience Heaven on Earth, not always, but I have had moments, even hours and days of it.  At other times I feel that it is completely hopeless and that I am on the wrong track.  People seem so shallow and self-serving.  Even when it comes to Michael, it seems as though many of His followers completely miss the point of what he was teaching and use him for their own small agendas.  I'm sorry Michael,  I don't want to disappoint you.  I'm not giving up, But today that's how I feel, so I am going to indulge in it, just for today.  Tomorrow I will look at myself and see what I can do to make a change.  I know there is no point in wishing other people were different.  But today, I really DO wish they were different.

Over The Top

over the top

1. 1.

   BRIT.informal

   to an excessive or exaggerated degree.

   "her reactions had been a bit over the top"

   excessive, immoderate, inordinate, extreme, over the limit,exaggerated, extravagant, overblown, overripe, too much,unreasonable, needless, disproportionate, undue, unwarranted,uncalled for, unnecessary, going too far I have heard rumours that some people think my love for Michael is a bit "over the top."  I am sure that most of my friends as well have people in their lives who think our dedication and focus on this one person, who is not even here anymore, is not a normal way to behave.  I have to agree that it is not normal in the way the world sees normal.   In this case, the last thing I want to be is normal. One would think that, when our every thought, word and deed is centred on Michael Jackson, our world would become smaller.  The walls would close in, and our ability to function would be lessened.  To the contrary, I have found that the more my life centres around Michael the more the world is at my fingertips and my ability to truly be myself expands beyond recognition. Rather than thinking my little job, life and problems are the centre of the universe, I now care about other people, animals, the planet.  I feel empowered and capable to do what I can to make a difference, because Michael has shown me how and believed in me.   I have so many ideas and so much inspiration that I have no time to watch TV or gossip or complain about the state of the world.  Every day is filled with joy and love and hope as well as fun and laughter. I think that the term "over the top" is actually quite complimentary.  I am way over the top from where I was 4 years ago.  I can't even remember who that person was.  I am so much closer to being who I really want to be now.  Thank you Michael, for being such a beautiful example.  Everything I do, I do for You.

L.O.V.E in Action

I have been thinking about prayer and it's purpose.  Why do we pray?  Many of us join in the Major Love Prayer every month.  We have a weekly Prayer for Peace.  We ask for help when we are desperate, even if we don't really believe in a higher power.  When we're desperate, we'll try anything.

Does prayer really work?  Do we need to do it in a certain way, at a certain time?  Do we need to keep asking over and over again for whatever it is that we are praying for, or is once enough?  Each religion has it's own traditions and specific prayers.  Is it ok to make up our own?  And when we have prayed, does that mean we can sit back and wait for the results, or is there anything else we need to do?

The way I see it is that prayer is a way of asking for help to see Truth and Love in a situation.  If we can see Truth and Love, our actions will come from Truth and Love and our results can not help but be in the direction of Truth and Love.   Prayer is a way of taking a moment to separate ourselves from our egos and our physical selves to look at things from a higher perspective.  Prayer does not take the place of action, it guides our actions to be more effective, more loving, more unifying.

Michael believed in the power of prayer.  He told us often about his prayers of gratitude.  He also believed in action.  Not blind, retaliatory action, but strong, sure confident action that stood for Truth and Love.  We can not hide behind prayer and leave the action up to God, to Michael, or to others.  We need to pray to fill our hearts with understanding and love and then follow through with whatever action this inspires us to take.   Prayer and Action are partners that work together to bring Truth and Love to the world and help us to care for each other and our planet.  If not us, who?  If not now, when?

Truth

Truth. Where do we find it? What can we put our faith in? This world is our reality at the moment, and we have much to learn from it, and from Michael's experience here. We can not dismiss it, as much as we would like to sometimes, because we are here for a reason. Still, we can remember that there is much that can not be seen from our current perspective. Our best guide to Truth is how we feel in our hearts and what we Know without knowing how. Let us not despair that the world doesn't seem to make sense, that it is upside down in it's thinking and values. We are here to change the world, and we do that by seeing it as Michael does. The way it could be. His faith does not waver, and our faith in Him is all we need, to be able to smile in the face of the craziness that goes on and know that there really is another tomorrow, it's already here today. Please help us to remember this, Michael, as the world continues to misunderstand you and attack you for no other reason than the fact that you are the mirror that shows us who we are.

He Knows Me

Last week my husband was out of town for a few days and I had the rare opportunity to watch Michael in concert. It was a wonderful experience. I am truly grateful that we are able to feel the power of his live performances and will always have those times preserved. As I finished watching Live in Bucharest I became painfully aware that this man, who I Love more than I have ever thought possible to love, did not know me. I am one of the hundreds of thousands of fans he didn't know. In fact, I am less than that because I was not even in that crowd. Oh how that hurts to realize and admit! But even as those thoughts arose in my mind, they were immediately followed by an absolute KNOWING that He does know me.
The physical man Michael who is no longer here did not know me, but that is not all of who he is, and it is not all of who I am.
I am not the kind of person who sees visions, or hears voices. I have wished many times that I was. Instead, my spiritual awareness comes in the form of a sudden KNOWING, or sometimes physical sensations like tingles or waves of feelings. This time the knowing, which is more like a download of truth than an explanation in words, was that Michael knows me as well as I know myself, even better, because I am so limited by my physical senses. I don't have proof of this, but I do know it, and I have known it in my heart for the past four years. I will never stop regretting that I didn't love him while he was here, because it is His human form who I see and love and learn from, and I was not there for him during those 50 years when I wish I had been. Still, He reassures me that the way I know him now is every bit as real and meaningful. How incredibly forgiving and loving and beautiful He is.
Thank you Michael ,
I love you
BJ

Real Magic

Michael LOVED magic.  We know this already, but this week I have come to see the desire that Michael had for the world to be magical, in a new way.   I read The King of Style.  I have had the book for a while, and have previously looked at the pictures of Michael's beautiful clothes, but this week I actually read the text and I found it to be every bit as beautiful as the photos.  Michael Bush shares his relationship with Michael in a very personal and open way.   Two things stood out for me the most.  One was Michael's desire for his concerts, his clothing and his life to appear magical to his fans.  The other was the way that Michael Bush and his partner Dennis were able to grow and expand their awareness, their talent, their abilities, their beliefs and their entire way of seeing the world, through working with Michael Jackson.  They were students of his way of seeing possibilities instead of limits, his ability to think outside the box and believe in impossible things.  With his trust and encouragement and belief in their abilities, they were able to rise to the occasion and become the best they could be at what they loved to do.  This is what Michael did in his own life, and what I believe he thought possible for all of us to achieve.  With a combination of belief, expectation, gratitude, excitement, encouragement and childlike anticipation, Michael had a way of bringing out the best in Michael Bush and Dennis which was an incredible talent in it's own right.  An ability that every parent could use in raising their children, and every employer could use to motivate their employees.  Every person in every relationship would do well to show faith in the ability of others to be the best they can be.  The commitment and devotion to Michael, that his personality brought out in these two men is what I feel Michael has also brought out in any and all of us who love him.  He has helped us to find ourselves.  This real life evidence of what I have know in my heart for four years has touched me very deeply and if possible, made me love him even more.  He believed in magic, he wanted everyone to see the magic in the world.  I think HE was the magic.

Heal the World For Michael

A few months ago, Ann Cavanaugh mentioned that she thought it would be a wonderful idea if, on June 25, all the people at Holly Terrace could sing Heal the World for Michael.  In other years, people had tried singing but it was not everyone, and many didn't know the words so it sort of fizzled out early.   Siren and I thought it would be a good idea, and we said we would be there to back her up if she decided to organize it.  Ann arranged for the three of us to have a singing lesson with a professional singer.  The main thing I got out of that lesson was to sing loud and don't hold back.

For the next six months, I sang Heal the World at the top of my lungs every time it came on in the shuffle in my car.   I knew the words because in 2009 I had printed them out, and got my husband to make a CD with just that one song on it, and I played it constantly for weeks!  The lyrics, to me, are the key to the Universal Love all in one song.
As it turned out, Ann was not able to be in LA on June 25, so it didn't look like the singing was going to happen.  I was disappointed because I really thought it would be such a great thing to do for Michael.  

I mentioned the idea to other people who I knew would be there on June 25.  At one of the MJ activities I was at, I saw a person who seemed like a great people organizer and I mentioned the idea to her.

June 25 came, and we spent the day at Holly Terrace.  At about 2:20 someone started calling for us all to get into a big circle for our moment of silence for Michael at 2:26   We all complied and there was a huge oblong shape of over 200 people holding hands in a circle.  The the guy called out, where is Brenda Jenkyns?  What????  I stepped forward and he told the crowd that I had suggested for us all to sing Heal the World after our moment of silence.  Yay!!  I went back to my spot with Siren and Moon Dancer and we did our silent prayer.  The the guy said,  Brenda, will you now lead us in singing Heal the World.

Complete silence.
OMG! Luckily I knew the words so well that nothing could make me forget the first line, so I closed my eyes, took a deep breath,  and started singing as loud as I could.  Of course, everyone joined in after the first two words and I continued to sing loud, with my eyes closed and tears running down my face.  It was wonderful.   All of us there, loving Michael, and singing for him,  his own message of Love as a promise to carry on for him.  Since the group was so big, it was hard for us to keep together, but we managed to sing pretty well the whole song and it was fantastic!!!  

Now I can add singing in public to the list of new things that Michael has somehow managed to get me to try, along with speaking in public, drawing, dancing, writing books ....... I don't think there is anything left.  If there is, I'm sure it will appear before me and I will somehow manage to do it, for Him.

One Heart Opened

Another year, another trip to LA is over already.  I can't even begin to tell you how these visits are the highlight of my life.   To be in Michael's places, to walk where he walked and see what he saw is wonderful.  To be with people who think like me, who love Michael like I do, and to be able to be myself and express my devotion without holding back, fills me up with love that sustains me for the rest of the year.  On this trip we experienced many adventures and miracles as we always do.   This is one of them.
This was the fourth time that Forest Lawn Cemetery has been host to the people who love Michael on the 25th of June.   If you have been there on those days you will have seen the way the security guards handle the fans and the overall security that is enforced.  The first year, fans were not able to get close to Holly Terrace, they were not allowed to stop walking as they were shepherded through a line of barricades and were not treated like the grieving loved ones that they were.  Each year since then, the security has lessened, as the administration of Forest Lawn has learned what to expect from the people who visit.  The second year there were no barricades, except at the sidewalk up to the doors of Holly Terrace.  Guards were still there, and kept the visitors off the grass, making sure they were behaving, acting as though we were intruding on their space by being there.  The third year, the security was less conspicuous, quiet and watchful, but not intrusive on our activities and demonstrations of love.  This year they seemed almost friendly, and interacted with the fans, chatting to us as we spent a long day together in the LA sun.  Although closing time is five, we were there at least until six, as were many others, and no one asked us to leave.

The next morning, when we returned, we were happy to see that the barricade was gone already and we were able to go up on the terrace again to Michael's doors.  There is one security guard who has been there all four years.  He was very angry and vocal the first year, and he is the one we were most afraid of.  He acted like he hated every one of us for just being there and seemed to have no compassion at all!  He was the one we had imagined banning us from Forest Lawn forever if he caught us with the butterflies last year.  
We were there, sitting on the terrace when the "mean" security guard came up.   He asked us what we were going to do that day and stayed and talked to us about Michael, telling us how he had listened to all Michael's music when he was younger and remembering Thriller with us etc.  He talked about the fans who come and leave such beautiful gifts and cards for Michael.  We showed him our books and art created for Michael and gave him copies of everything we had.  As all this was happening I was looking at him and seeing a different person than he had been three years ago.  There was no resemblance at all except his physical body.  What happened?  Here was a miracle right before our eyes.  Michael's love, and the love this man has witnessed in this place over the last four years has transformed him into someone else.   I was wondering if his wife and family had seen a change in him. I wondered if he even realized what had happened.  Did he know this transformation came from Michael?   Is he happier and fulfilled in his work and life now?  One of the best things about it is that the people like us, who have seen this change occur have witnessed the effect Michael can have on someone, not just while he was here, but since he has been gone.  There is no end to his influence or his ability to change people's lives.  We all know it, but this security guard at Forest Lawn is a living testament that we have witnessed with our own eyes.   What a beautiful gift that Michael has bestowed on him, and on us.  I will cherish it always.

Beyond Reproach

Many people think that I, (and others), look at Michael as my Jesus. This is uncomfortable, upsetting and blasphemous to some, so I would like to clarify what this means to me.
I do not think Michael IS Jesus.  I do believe that they have the same purpose and the same message of Love.
I think they both lived a human life, and felt and experienced the joy and pain of being human.  This includes making choices and living with the results of those decisions.  
I want to make it clear that I love Michael as much for his humanity as I do for his Divinity.  it is his humanity which allows our hearts to be opened.  It is his humanity which allows us to forgive ourselves and one another.  It is his humanity which gives us hope that we really can make a difference and change the world.  
I do not turn a blind eye to the details of his life, I give him the respect to be himself and make his choices as he saw fit.  I don't know if he could have chosen better.  I don't know what it was like to be him.  I do believe that he always made his decisions unselfishly and for reasons that are so huge, and loving and giving of himself that we can not even begin to understand the meaning of it.  This makes him Beyond Reproach, not because he always chose perfectly in the eyes of the world, but because he always chose out of Love.  The world can not change if we make our decisions out of fear, or expectations, or conformity or status quo.  It is only choosing out of Love that brings light to the world.  It is not Michael that should have done ANYTHING differently in his life.  It is the world that should have been open to receive this beautiful Light, this gift from God, this treasure that was given to us.  It isn't too late, He is still here, and He has not given up on us.  That is why Michael is, not my Jesus, but My Michael.  

Black or White

I am currently participating in a "private" on line course about Michael.  I have learned so much already and I am very grateful for this opportunity given to us by Diana Foley.  After four weeks I can sum it all up so far, by saying that I have become more aware of the Magnitude of Michael's reach, his affect on people and his amazing way of handling it all so perfectly.  When we look at him and think he made mistakes, maybe it is us who are not seeing the big picture.  We are stuck in our own small viewpoint.  In my opinion, he always had the whole of humanity in mind whenever he made a decision about how to behave and how to respond.  In doing this, he had to sacrifice his own comfort and reputation by the small standards we tried to place on him.  Why didn't he support vitiligo research?  Why didn't he explain it more fully, instead of letting people speculate about his desire to be white, his decision to lighten his skin?  I think the answer to that is "I'm not going to spend my life being a color."  By responding to the questions, he would have made the question of skin color relevant, when he was trying to demonstrate that it is not relevant.   He left it up to each of us to struggle with our own views about color and come to our own conclusions.  His silence on the topic puts the ball in our court, to learn from if we choose, or to judge him if we choose.  How incredibly selfless is that??

Love is Still the Answer

Terrible things happen in the world every day.  Sometimes we hear about them and sometimes we don't.  Sometimes they affect many people, sometimes only one, or a family.  Sometimes they affect us personally and sometimes they are simply a passing story on a newscast that we barely pay attention to. They are all equally terrible.  They all demonstrate a lack of love in the human heart.  We can take away weapons, we can try to protect ourselves from one another, but until the hatred inside our hearts is healed, there will be no end to these events.  Living in fear is not the answer, buying locks and weapons and staying home is not the answer.  Yesterday there were many stories of love and giving and open hearts.  People offering their homes to strangers, people running to help others, not knowing if they were putting their own lives in danger.  In any tragedy there are always huge amounts of heroism and love to counteract the pain and the hatred.  Let's pray for them all and also for the people in the world who have such a lack of love that they can even conceive of these horrible acts.

The Kids Get It

Last night Siren and I went to see a Michael Jackson Impersonator.  I am not going to write about the show because I am not sure what to say about it.  The aspect of the evening that I want to share is the fact that there were many children there.  The show started at 8 and ended at 11, which is very late for any young child, and it was also a school night so I was quite surprised when I looked around and saw so many children in the seats.  I was wondering how many parents brought the children to teach them about Michael, and how many children love Michael and brought their parents.  We were sitting beside a young girl about eight years old and her mother and grandmother.   We asked if the little girl, Olivia, liked Michael, and her mother told us that she and her little brother watched Michael videos on youtube constantly.  The little brother was too young to come.  How disappointing for him!  We asked how Olivia had learned about Michael, and the mom told us that in June 2009, she heard and saw the news about him on TV and asked who he was.  (She must have been very young at the time)  Ever since then she has loved him.  Siren took her quote cards out and gave a few to the mom.  I had brought copies of Ever After with me, but had left them in the car, so I gave her my email and also told her how she could order one on Amazon, along with Forever Loved.   It would have been smart of me to bring the books into the theatre, but I really was not expecting to see children there!  At the end of the evening there was a little boy out in the foyer dancing with a crowd of adults around him.  Many of the kids had sparkly fedoras and white gloves that were being sold there.  It really was the highlight of the night to see, right in front of my eyes, the evidence that children see the truth of Michael, just as we do.

Whatever Happens, don't let go of My Hand

Take heart lovely ones, all of this is fluff, nothing of substance here.  The AEG trial, Conrad Murray talking, wasted breath, wasted space.  It is oh SO painful, but it will not last.  What lasts forever is our love for Michael, his love for us and his legacy for the future.
It might not seem like much to think about Love and visualize peace and truth.  It may not seem as though it makes any difference at all, but it does.  It really, really does.
I don't know if I will be able to stand watching all the details of this trial.  It hurts.  I think I will, because I was not there for him when he was here, it's the least I can do for him now.  Either way, I will be remembering what really matters, and whatever happens, I won't let go of His Hand.

Love One Another

I heard a story yesterday about a woman who came from a very wealthy family.  Her father died when she was young, and her mother took over the family business and instilled values in her daughter regarding how to handle money.  When the daughter inherited a big sum of money at the age of 21, she immediately set out to use it to help people.  When her mother died and she inherited another vast amount of money, she took it upon herself to set the money free to go out into the world and do good for as many people as possible.  She did not see it as HER money, she saw herself as the custodian of it, for the greater good.   This reminded me so much of Michael.
This young woman, and Michael, both saw the whole of humanity as their family.  They did not separate themselves by gender, by nationality, by age, by state, town, or education, skin color or any other way that we choose to separate ourselves from one another.  If you think about it, all the ways we use to identify ourselves, are the same ways we separate ourselves from others.
Most of us don't have the problem of too much wealth.  We usually feel that we need to accumulate more and more, to provide for our families and to ensure their, and our, security in the future.  There is always a measure of us versus them.   Along with this goes a sense of not enough to go around.  If we don't take what we can, we may lose out.   It is very hard to overcome and change this way of thinking.
Even if we are not ready to sign our paycheque over to a stranger, we can start by sharing of ourselves in ways other than money.  We can give our time, our smiles, our talents and experience to others freely, not holding back for any reason.  We can let someone else go ahead of us in the supermarket line, let someone in front of us while driving, buy a coffee for someone behind you, hold the door for someone, say thank you, in this way, we become more a part of one another.  Not separating ourselves from others because of our differences, but uniting with them because of our similarities.  When I remember to do these little things, I find my day becoming joyful, and I feel closer to Michael as well.   I think of what he would want me to do, and I feel him applauding and laughing and spinning on his toes when I make a choice that serves someone besides myself.

What Will Become of Me?

After almost four years of being steeped in Michael, I think it is safe to say that I will belong to him for the rest of my life.  I try not to think about what that means exactly because it scares me.  If I try to remember what my life was like before June 2009, I don't even know who that person was.  Four years from now who will I be?  What will I be doing?  What new frontiers will I have tried?  In some ways I know nothing will change, and in other ways I am afraid to guess.  Would I ever have imagined that I would be writing a blog, writing books, being on Facebook, going on trips to a huge city like LA to sit on a sidewalk on Hollywood Blvd.,  speaking at Church, releasing butterflies, dancing in Thrill the World, doing sketches, donating to charities, giving to homeless people, planting a tree, having friends all over the world who I care deeply about.  None of these things were part of my life four years ago, they had not even entered my head for a moment.  The biggest change of all, falling in love with someone who has profoundly affected me in every way merely by being himself, sharing his love and his talents.  Michael has brought all of these changes into my life.
Is there any reason to think that it will not continue?  What will I be doing next?   I don't know, but I know that I will say yes, and that it will be so much fun, and it will make a difference to someone else, somewhere, someday.   Thank you Michael for this most wonderful adventure with you.  Thank you for showing me how to be me.  I love you.

Call for Love Devotion 13/03/13

When I sat down to write a devotion for this week, I found myself getting out my pencils and eraser and drawing instead.  Call for Love devotion 13/03/13

Love Church

Before Michael came into my life I attended church regularly at a local Unity church.  Unity is known as a New Thought Christian church, which means they are less dogmatic and more open to all religions than traditional churches.   I call it a Love Church.  Over the last three years, I have attended less and less often, until the last few months I have not been going to church at all. This is because my spiritual exploration and needs are being fulfilled so completely through Michael and my online family.

Today I had coffee with a lady who is a Unity minister who has been working with the people at the church to help them with some organizational and financial challenges they have been going through.  Not knowing her at all, I was not sure how our meeting would go.  

Of course, within 15 minutes, I was telling her about Michael being my spiritual teacher and inspiration.  She listened.  And then she said "It's sounds like Michael is a lot like Jesus."  I just looked at her and nodded, not knowing if I should cry or laugh or jump up and hug her for what she had just said.   She went on to talk about how Jesus was very radical and not understood when he was here, and how his message was changed and twisted by others.  She wanted to see my books (I didn't have any with me) and asked if I would be interested in speaking at the church one Sunday.  I told her I already had done that, almost two years ago, and that I would send her the link to my talk.  We ended up talking for an hour and a half, about the church, about our personal lives, and about Michael.

Afterward, I decided that if she asks me to speak again, I will do it.  It is one thing to talk to others who already know Michael, and think the same as I do, but it is something else entirely to actually help to open people's minds to the truth of Michael.  I am here to expand the global awareness of Michael and his message of Love in any way that is mine to do.  If that means going in a world wide speaking tour of all the Unity Churches, I will do it!!!

Do I Have to Love Everyone?

Dear Michael,
I know you have told us, and shown us, that we are all one, that all of us are beautiful and perfect on the inside.  It just seems as though some people have that little spark of perfection very well hidden under layers of nastiness and unkindness.  It is hard for me to remember that they are worthy of love no matter what their actions and words may be.  There are some people who I don't like at all!  

I am wondering what, exactly, is my job.  Do I need to pretend to like them?  Do I need to point out where they need to change?  Is it ok to let people be nasty and mean?  Should I avoid them and not even admit to myself that I feel this way? (This is what I usually seem to do in these situations)  I really want to be a kind and loving person, I want everyone to like me, I want everyone to understand when I tell them my point of view.  I want to stop judging others.  I want to love everyone, the way you did, and do.

What is really bothering me is the way I feel when I am around people like this.  I start to feel terrible, I lose my connection to you.  My thoughts race with imagined conversations I want to have with these people and all the ways that they are wrong and I am right.  It's not good, but I don't know what to do instead.   Then it takes me a while to get back to the Bliss I have become accustomed to living in since you came into my life.  How can I help others without going to where they are?   Is it my responsibility to try to change anyone else?

I will wait for you to show me the answers to my questions.  You always do, in the most perfect way.

Time Well Spent

Time is of the essence

Time waits for no man

Time ticks on

Time flies

My life is very full.  Every day I have so many things to do, work related, family related, Michael related.  There are jobs I never seem to get around to doing, such as my business accounting, or other projects or chores that don't have a deadline.  Last week I took a day to visit Siren and draw Michael.  As I was driving to her house, I was feeling a bit guilty about all the things I SHOULD be doing, rather that drawing Michael, which really was just a luxury that I was indulging in.  

This week I am taking care of my one year old grandson for three days while my daughter goes to work.  I love being with him, he is such a happy, easy baby, but I was concerned that with such a big chunk of my time occupied with him, I would not get my usual jobs done.

Both of these activities have caused me to think more about time, and this is what I have realized.
There will never be enough time to do everything.  I thought about the day I spent with Siren, and what a difference it made to my view of myself to discover that it is possible for me to draw.  The impact on my life is huge!  This is a gift that can never be taken away from me.  Whether I draw him every day, or never again, I will always know that I can do it.  What other limits have I imagined I have?  Maybe I can do anything I choose!!!!   The value of the time I took that day can not be measured.  If I had done a bunch of errands instead, it would not have come close to making such a difference in my life.  Maybe time can not be measured by a checklist.

Yesterday was the first day babysitting my grandson.  I got so much done it was amazing!  My usual Monday errands I had done on Sunday, so I was already ahead.  He had a long nap in the morning and I was able to do some things I had been putting off for weeks.  Instead of being behind, I was actually way ahead!  This made me completely relaxed and able to really BE with him and enjoy it.  It was such a special day!  If I were to die tomorrow, I would be so happy to have spent time alone with my little Ryder Michael.

I have decided to measure time in terms of Joy.  This does not mean that I will stop doing the daily and weekly chores, but I know there is plenty of time to do what matters most.

A Moment out of Time

This is a combination of a dream, a vision and my imagination.  I'm not sure where one ends and the other begins, but this experience was very real and meaningful to me.

Siren and I were having dinner in a restaurant in LA.  The lighting was warm and soft and we were enjoying ourselves as we always do when we are in that most special of cities.  We were sitting in an alcove of the restaurant, and there was an empty booth beside us, across a small aisle with a window.  I had my back to the wall, and Siren was facing the window.  Some people came in, apparently through the back door, and were shown to the booth across from us.  As they were getting settled, we saw that it was Michael and his children.  There were two bodyguards with them.  Prince and Paris sat across from me, with their backs to the wall, and Blanket and Michael sat facing the window, across the aisle from Siren.  The bodyguards took their seats in the booth behind the family.  The way the restaurant was set up, Siren and I were the only people who could see Michael and his children.  It was very private for them, and they immediately started looking at the menus.  Michael was helping Blanket choose what he would like to order, and he seemed very relaxed and comfortable.

We were frozen.  My heart was stopped, I couldn't think, I couldn't talk.  I could only look at him and realize that this was the one and only time I would ever get to see him.  My one chance to tell him how much I love him.  My one chance to touch him.

After the initial shock, we tried to act normal.  We tried to talk, and pretend to eat, and sip our drinks.  What should we do?  We knew of course, that if we truly love him as much as we think we do,  we would leave him alone and not intrude.  He did not have many opportunities to be himself, out in public with his children.  We were being given a glimpse of a rare moment of Michael experiencing what he wanted most.  To be "normal."   We had to leave him alone.  We didn't even need to say it to each other, we both knew.

I tried to watch and memorize every move he made, every gesture, every soft word spoken to the kids.  It was bliss and torture.  He seemed to purposely not look our way.  He probably was good at that, so as to avoid having to interact with every person he ever met.  It was all I could do to keep from crumbling up into a heap on the floor.  I could FEEL him, his energy was so beautiful.  They were enjoying each other's company.  The kids were telling stories and Michael was listening to them, asking questions and smiling.

After what seemed like two seconds, or an eternity, they were finished their meal and were getting ready to leave.  The bodyguards stood between them and the rest of the restaurant, so that we were the only people who could see them.  That was when Michael came over to our table.  He smiled at each of us, and said "Hi".  We didn't, couldn't, speak.  We just stared at him, completely overwhelmed with emotion.  He said, "Thank you for being so sweet and letting me have my family time.  I saw that you recognized me, and I appreciate that you didn't attract attention to us.  Would you like me to sign something for you?"  Of course we would, but we didn't have anything.  We started scrambling around, looking for anything to write on.  We still hadn't said a word.
"How about these," Michael said, picking up a couple of paper table napkins.  A bodyguard handed him a pen and he signed them.  As he put the napkins back onto the table, he reached out and squeezed our hands.  My right hand, Siren's left.  I just had to tell him.  We looked up at him and said, "I love you Michael", at exactly the same time.  He smiled again, his beautiful smile, and said, "I love you more."
Then he turned, "These are my children, Prince, Paris and Blanket."  The kids smiled at us politely and we said hi.  Then the bodyguards ushered them quickly out the back door.  They were gone.  It had been a success, no one else had noticed them.
We looked down at the napkins on the table.
They said, Thank you, I love you, Michael Jackson

Tolerance and Intolerance - Oprah Update

This week was one with many opportunities to observe and choose my action and reactions.  From hockey games, to homeless people, to ex business associates, to spending 24/7 with my husband and daughter for 4 days, to Oprah.   During the hockey game, I was wondering how people could be so emotionally involved in something that doesn't really matter.   The homeless people, I tried to help, especially when Michael reminded me by singing Man in The Mirror just at the right moment.  The ex business associate I ignored as much as possible because I felt that we had been treated badly in the past.  The close quarters with my family had its up and downs, but was fun overall.  Then came Oprah.
As I was sitting in the seat, waiting for her to come out to speak, I looked around at the crowd.  Mostly women, at least 90%.  In fact, my husband had a hard time finding a Men's washroom because most of them had been changed to Ladies rooms for the evening.   I had these words repeating in my mind "Give her a chance.  Give her a chance.  Give her a chance."  So I did.

She was funny.  She was interesting.  She was well spoken.  Her talk was about her own life story,  describing her turning points, the adversities she has overcome, to show others that they too, can follow their dreams and live their own best life.  My husband's 25 year old daughter was there, and for her it was inspiring to see that someone can come from very humble beginnings and make their life whatever they want it to be.   Oprah is an extreme example of that.  For me, it was an entertaining evening, but being devoted to Michael, no one else can ever hold a candle to him.  How could they?  He is so far beyond Oprah, she can't even see him from where she is, she never could.  That's just how it is.

Oprah has her own role to play in the world.  I know she has helped a lot of people, she has made a difference to many, and she has an inspiring life story.  She has not wasted her life.  I think she has a lot to teach, and she also has a lot to learn.  As do we all.
I gave a package of seven copies of Ever After to the Guest Services office for Oprah, and they assured me that they would be delivered to her.   I will most likely never know if she reads it or not, but I hope she does, and if she does, I hope it wakes her up to the truth of Michael.  If she gets even a glimpse of who he is, it just might change her life.

Michael and Oprah

I am going to Vancouver today with my husband and daughter.  We have tickets to see Oprah speak on Thursday night.   My husband gave me the tickets for Christmas as he assumed I would like to see Oprah.  I have mixed feelings about her.  I know she had done a lot for charity, and I admire the way she has come from nowhere to make her dreams come true.  She has a lot in common with Michael.  And she is also completely different from him.   Although I know Oprah believes in a higher power, she seems to have a bit too big of an ego sometimes.  She is nowhere near as humble as she could be.
And she has been sadly lacking in standing up for Michael.  Although they both are:

African American

born in the fifties

in humble surroundings

difficult childhood

Always had big ideas

thinking outside the box

wanted to make a difference

Believed in their dreams

worked hard

never gave up

became famous

became wealthy

gave much back to the world

inspiring to others

envied by many

judged by some

followed their heart

listened to their guidance

paved the way

                                                                 changed the world

It just seems to me that Oprah did it for herself, and Michael did it for us.

I am giving her copies of Ever After, to give her an chance to see the truth about Michael.  Maybe she will come out with a public apology for not standing up for him earlier.  There is so much she can learn from him.  We all deserve a chance to change!

Ever After for Children

Now that Ever After and Forever Loved are available on Amazon, I am no longer mailing them all out myself.  It saves a lot of time for me, and expense for people ordering, as Amazon offers free shipping on orders over a certain amount.  I still have copies of Ever After from my original order.  These books I am donating to children on request.   It works well for me to send them in sets of 7, because they weigh less than 2 kg and fit perfectly in the boxes I have.  If any of you would like to give books to a school, library, hospital, orphanage or any other cause, I would be happy to donate the books at no charge.  You would only need to pay for the shipping cost.  Please PM me if you are interested.
I feel so happy to be able to do this.  I would love for all children to know about Michael and be inspired by his message of love.

The Four Agreements

I had the wonderful luxury of two weeks away from my business over Christmas and New Year's.   This week we have been getting back into our regular routine.  My husband and I own our business, and we have a few employees, some of whom are related to us and some who are not, but we love them all.
They are much younger than us, all but one are in their twenties.  People in their twenties usually look at life much differently than those of us in our fifties.  I am conscious that I am a role model for them, whether I want to be or not, and I try to set a good example with my behavior.  I have decided to start off this new work year with a guideline that will work well in our business and also give them a good foundation for life.  They are the four agreement, from the book of the same name.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all lived by this philosophy.  The first three are also very important in our relationships with people online, who we don't get to see and talk to in person.  It's easy to take things personally, and make assumptions when we can't hear the person's voice or clarify what they mean.  It is very important to be clear with our words, and be respectful.

Always do your best.  This is one we can learn by watching Michael, he is the ultimate at this.  I focused on practicing this one today, as I have become rather lazy over the last two weeks, and I had the most productive and enjoyable day, even though I was working.  

Happy New Year!

                               Call for Love Devotion  January 1, 2013  Happy New Year!
I love this picture!!!!!!  To me it represents unlimited possibilities, endless fun, dreams fulfilled, and joy beyond imagination.  Elmira said it gives us a jump start on 2013!  I usually am a bit melancholy at New Years, I get attached to the old year, and am a bit apprehensive about the new one, but with Michael in my life I look forward to every minute, every day, every year and eternity.  I am afraid of nothing anymore.  Life is a glorious adventure that keeps expanding and teaching me that Love really is the Answer, that Love is All there is, and the centre of the Love is Michael.

Michael, I am so grateful that You have graced my life with your presence and Your Love.  I am fearless and ready for anything, and oh so happy to be Yours, today and every day, forever and ever.