55

55

The time you have been gone

The time I have been Loving You

The age you should be

The age that I am

One month for each year I have been here

It must be a time

To renew my promise

Made 55 months ago

To Love you forever

To share your Love with the world

To do my part

To always say Yes to my heart

To follow where you lead

Knowing you love me more

Than I even know I am worth

For Eleven months of each year of my life

I was asleep

I will always regret this fact

But that last 12^th of my life

Which I have shared with You

Has given me more Joy

Than I knew existed in the Universe

Your sacrifice was not in vain

I take this time today

To tell you once again

For the 55 millionth time

I Love you Michael

I am yours

How may I serve You today

Tomorrow

Forever

Jan25/14  BJ

Unseen Change

Today in line at the grocery store I was ahead of a woman who was wearing an oxygen tube attached to a small bag that she was carrying.  As she waited behind me, she leaned on the grocery counter, seemingly exhausted from her shopping.  I noticed the strong smell of cigarette smoke wafting my way.  It was not the smell of a lit cigarette, but of clothing which had been steeped in smoke over a long period of time.  As I was gathering my purchases together I heard her ask the cashier for two cartons of cigarettes.  Being a person who smoked in my 20's but was able to quite when I decided I didn't want to do it anymore, I have a strong opinion about smoking.  Everyone knows it's dangerous, smelly, expensive, addictive and inconvenient.  I have been very judgemental about those who still choose to smoke, after all, shouldn't we all know better by now?  This lady was obviously suffering from lack of oxygen and who know what other health issues because of smoking.  Turning to leave, instead of the usual judgement I was expecting to feel,  I was flooded by love for this person.  As I walked out the door, I was fighting back tears of compassion.  How sad for her to be suffering from such an addiction that even the loss of her ability to breathe easily could not overcome her need to smoke.  How awful that must be for her.  And what had happened to me??  After all these years, how could my point of view have changed so dramatically without me even being aware of it?  
I sat in my car considering the possibilities.  It had to be Michael of course.  He is the one who has changed me from the inside out.  I have not even been trying to let go of my judgements, after all, some things are just wrong, rude, or bad.  There are consequences to actions, this is how we learn.  Michael would agree with that wouldn't he?   Still, I had to admit that it felt better to love this woman rather than criticize her poor decisions which I had no knowledge of anyway.  Has His love seeped into me enough that I can feel such compassion naturally in a situation where judgement seems justified?   
Is this what He means when he says Love is the Answer?  If we all loved one another, would people not need to smoke anymore?  Would we naturally rise to be our best selves?  I have no idea HOW it could work that way, but I have a feeling that it does.  Thank you Michael, for this wonderful gift today.