Love Church

Before Michael came into my life I attended church regularly at a local Unity church.  Unity is known as a New Thought Christian church, which means they are less dogmatic and more open to all religions than traditional churches.   I call it a Love Church.  Over the last three years, I have attended less and less often, until the last few months I have not been going to church at all. This is because my spiritual exploration and needs are being fulfilled so completely through Michael and my online family.

Today I had coffee with a lady who is a Unity minister who has been working with the people at the church to help them with some organizational and financial challenges they have been going through.  Not knowing her at all, I was not sure how our meeting would go.  

Of course, within 15 minutes, I was telling her about Michael being my spiritual teacher and inspiration.  She listened.  And then she said "It's sounds like Michael is a lot like Jesus."  I just looked at her and nodded, not knowing if I should cry or laugh or jump up and hug her for what she had just said.   She went on to talk about how Jesus was very radical and not understood when he was here, and how his message was changed and twisted by others.  She wanted to see my books (I didn't have any with me) and asked if I would be interested in speaking at the church one Sunday.  I told her I already had done that, almost two years ago, and that I would send her the link to my talk.  We ended up talking for an hour and a half, about the church, about our personal lives, and about Michael.

Afterward, I decided that if she asks me to speak again, I will do it.  It is one thing to talk to others who already know Michael, and think the same as I do, but it is something else entirely to actually help to open people's minds to the truth of Michael.  I am here to expand the global awareness of Michael and his message of Love in any way that is mine to do.  If that means going in a world wide speaking tour of all the Unity Churches, I will do it!!!

Do I Have to Love Everyone?

Dear Michael,
I know you have told us, and shown us, that we are all one, that all of us are beautiful and perfect on the inside.  It just seems as though some people have that little spark of perfection very well hidden under layers of nastiness and unkindness.  It is hard for me to remember that they are worthy of love no matter what their actions and words may be.  There are some people who I don't like at all!  

I am wondering what, exactly, is my job.  Do I need to pretend to like them?  Do I need to point out where they need to change?  Is it ok to let people be nasty and mean?  Should I avoid them and not even admit to myself that I feel this way? (This is what I usually seem to do in these situations)  I really want to be a kind and loving person, I want everyone to like me, I want everyone to understand when I tell them my point of view.  I want to stop judging others.  I want to love everyone, the way you did, and do.

What is really bothering me is the way I feel when I am around people like this.  I start to feel terrible, I lose my connection to you.  My thoughts race with imagined conversations I want to have with these people and all the ways that they are wrong and I am right.  It's not good, but I don't know what to do instead.   Then it takes me a while to get back to the Bliss I have become accustomed to living in since you came into my life.  How can I help others without going to where they are?   Is it my responsibility to try to change anyone else?

I will wait for you to show me the answers to my questions.  You always do, in the most perfect way.

Time Well Spent

Time is of the essence

Time waits for no man

Time ticks on

Time flies

My life is very full.  Every day I have so many things to do, work related, family related, Michael related.  There are jobs I never seem to get around to doing, such as my business accounting, or other projects or chores that don't have a deadline.  Last week I took a day to visit Siren and draw Michael.  As I was driving to her house, I was feeling a bit guilty about all the things I SHOULD be doing, rather that drawing Michael, which really was just a luxury that I was indulging in.  

This week I am taking care of my one year old grandson for three days while my daughter goes to work.  I love being with him, he is such a happy, easy baby, but I was concerned that with such a big chunk of my time occupied with him, I would not get my usual jobs done.

Both of these activities have caused me to think more about time, and this is what I have realized.
There will never be enough time to do everything.  I thought about the day I spent with Siren, and what a difference it made to my view of myself to discover that it is possible for me to draw.  The impact on my life is huge!  This is a gift that can never be taken away from me.  Whether I draw him every day, or never again, I will always know that I can do it.  What other limits have I imagined I have?  Maybe I can do anything I choose!!!!   The value of the time I took that day can not be measured.  If I had done a bunch of errands instead, it would not have come close to making such a difference in my life.  Maybe time can not be measured by a checklist.

Yesterday was the first day babysitting my grandson.  I got so much done it was amazing!  My usual Monday errands I had done on Sunday, so I was already ahead.  He had a long nap in the morning and I was able to do some things I had been putting off for weeks.  Instead of being behind, I was actually way ahead!  This made me completely relaxed and able to really BE with him and enjoy it.  It was such a special day!  If I were to die tomorrow, I would be so happy to have spent time alone with my little Ryder Michael.

I have decided to measure time in terms of Joy.  This does not mean that I will stop doing the daily and weekly chores, but I know there is plenty of time to do what matters most.

A Moment out of Time

This is a combination of a dream, a vision and my imagination.  I'm not sure where one ends and the other begins, but this experience was very real and meaningful to me.

Siren and I were having dinner in a restaurant in LA.  The lighting was warm and soft and we were enjoying ourselves as we always do when we are in that most special of cities.  We were sitting in an alcove of the restaurant, and there was an empty booth beside us, across a small aisle with a window.  I had my back to the wall, and Siren was facing the window.  Some people came in, apparently through the back door, and were shown to the booth across from us.  As they were getting settled, we saw that it was Michael and his children.  There were two bodyguards with them.  Prince and Paris sat across from me, with their backs to the wall, and Blanket and Michael sat facing the window, across the aisle from Siren.  The bodyguards took their seats in the booth behind the family.  The way the restaurant was set up, Siren and I were the only people who could see Michael and his children.  It was very private for them, and they immediately started looking at the menus.  Michael was helping Blanket choose what he would like to order, and he seemed very relaxed and comfortable.

We were frozen.  My heart was stopped, I couldn't think, I couldn't talk.  I could only look at him and realize that this was the one and only time I would ever get to see him.  My one chance to tell him how much I love him.  My one chance to touch him.

After the initial shock, we tried to act normal.  We tried to talk, and pretend to eat, and sip our drinks.  What should we do?  We knew of course, that if we truly love him as much as we think we do,  we would leave him alone and not intrude.  He did not have many opportunities to be himself, out in public with his children.  We were being given a glimpse of a rare moment of Michael experiencing what he wanted most.  To be "normal."   We had to leave him alone.  We didn't even need to say it to each other, we both knew.

I tried to watch and memorize every move he made, every gesture, every soft word spoken to the kids.  It was bliss and torture.  He seemed to purposely not look our way.  He probably was good at that, so as to avoid having to interact with every person he ever met.  It was all I could do to keep from crumbling up into a heap on the floor.  I could FEEL him, his energy was so beautiful.  They were enjoying each other's company.  The kids were telling stories and Michael was listening to them, asking questions and smiling.

After what seemed like two seconds, or an eternity, they were finished their meal and were getting ready to leave.  The bodyguards stood between them and the rest of the restaurant, so that we were the only people who could see them.  That was when Michael came over to our table.  He smiled at each of us, and said "Hi".  We didn't, couldn't, speak.  We just stared at him, completely overwhelmed with emotion.  He said, "Thank you for being so sweet and letting me have my family time.  I saw that you recognized me, and I appreciate that you didn't attract attention to us.  Would you like me to sign something for you?"  Of course we would, but we didn't have anything.  We started scrambling around, looking for anything to write on.  We still hadn't said a word.
"How about these," Michael said, picking up a couple of paper table napkins.  A bodyguard handed him a pen and he signed them.  As he put the napkins back onto the table, he reached out and squeezed our hands.  My right hand, Siren's left.  I just had to tell him.  We looked up at him and said, "I love you Michael", at exactly the same time.  He smiled again, his beautiful smile, and said, "I love you more."
Then he turned, "These are my children, Prince, Paris and Blanket."  The kids smiled at us politely and we said hi.  Then the bodyguards ushered them quickly out the back door.  They were gone.  It had been a success, no one else had noticed them.
We looked down at the napkins on the table.
They said, Thank you, I love you, Michael Jackson