This week I decided for the first time to put a real picture of me up as my profile picture. (Of course, I chose one that was not just me, but me and Siren to make it a bit more comfortable) A couple of days later, on another group, we were all invited to post a picture of ourselves. There are people there that I have known for over 2 years and have never seen! It was wonderful to be able to connect a person with a face. I am not sure why this is, and I was a bit surprised by how much I enjoyed "meeting" everyone.
Why is it that we don't usually share our personal pictures with one another. Maybe it's because we think we don't measure up somehow. Too old, too young, too skinny, too fat, not attractive in some way. I have always thought I looked horrible in pictures. I don't look in the mirror much, only when I brush my teeth and my hair. I don't dwell on my appearance because I don't think I look especially good!!!
This started me thinking about Michael, as most things do. Imagine being him. A shy person, who, from the age of 5, had his picture taken at every opportunity. Can you imagine how that would feel? Especially if you are not happy with the way you look (although, OMG, did he ever NOT look fantastic?). He NEVER could go out just looking however he looked when he woke up in the morning. The world was a place full of cameras for him. I am talking about his private life. I realize that he was prepared for his concerts and other public appearances, but I am just thinking about his own personal life, like going to the store, or out to dinner with friends. Wait a minute!!!! Michael couldn't go to the store or out for dinner with friends! He was a prisoner in his own life. He had to hide from all the cameras, and people, because many of them were out to make him look bad, trying to make money by sensationalizing anything at all about Michael Jackson.
Today I was at the zoo, and we saw a tiger sleeping on the grass. She woke up and stood up, and started walking toward the bars. People came running to take pictures. I took one too. And I felt sorry for the tiger, who had no privacy. This made me think of Michael too, as most things do. The life he lead was like no other person's life. To judge him in any way is completely unfair and cruel. I know all of you feel the way I do. How did he manage to stay so loving and sweet? The world did not deserve someone as beautiful as him. Thinking about these things, as hard as it is, only serves to make me love him more, and more, and more.
