Por Siempre

Piercing through that mask of Being

In that silence beyond all seeing 

Was a field with a different story

A field of power, of awesome glory

With other children, if unfurled

It's tidal wave would change the world 

Michael Jackson 

Part II Magical Child

Almost six years ago, my book Ever After was published.  At the time, I had no experience in writing or publishing, but I was so inspired and determined that nothing slowed me down.  Writing, imagining the illustrations, finding an illustrator, learning about publishers and printing, setting up a website, all of it was completely new to me.  It was an amazing time, and Mimi was the perfect partner.  The story was only half the book, her illustrations are what brought it to life.   When the book was ready, I confidently ordered 5000 copies (just for a start I thought) and I took orders through email and Paypal and mailed out the books myself.  The only way for people to find Ever After was through Facebook, which was a new frontier for me as well.  

The word spread, and I was finding out first hand how much Michael was loved all over the world.  I had requests for the book in different languages.  Printing the book in other languages was not possible at the time, so I asked new friends in different countries to translate the story into their language for me.  I printed the translations on two pages and inserted them with the English book on request. 

I didn't sell all of those 5000 books.  I still have a few boxes in my basement and I donate them to children's events and charities if people are willing to help with the mailing costs.  By the grace of createspace and Amazon, and a lot of help from my friends once again, I am now able to publish physical copies of Ever After in other languages.  The first one is a new Spanish version, Por Siempre, which is available starting today.  The translation has been kindly provided by Liz Johnson.  Por Siempre (Ever After - Spanish)

Reading the story again, and working with the illustrations has taken me back in time, and reminded me of the eternal gift of Michael's life story.  I really want to continue to share Ever After with the children of the world.  I am hoping that once again Facebook friends  will help to put this book into the hands of children who can be inspired by a little boy who did what he came to do; sing, dance and make a difference ..... por siempre 
Thank you all so much for your love and support.  
Thank You Michael, for always giving us your best.

Por Siempre (Ever After-Spanish)

The Life Changing Magic of Michael Jackson

Every year between Christmas and New Years, I have time off to relax. December is a busy month for our business and this year I was looking forward to working on my cross stitch of Michael, maybe doing a sketch, some writing and enjoying my relaxation time.  A couple of days before Christmas, a post on facebook caught my attention.  It was about a book called The Life Changing Magic of Tidying.  Why I clicked on the post I have no idea.  (Well actually, I do have an idea, but I didn't at the time.)

This is the background to my story.  My mother was a VERY tidy housekeeper.   It seemed to me that she was much more concerned about STUFF than she was about People (like her daughters for example) and I decided very seriously that I would not be that way when I grew up.  Well, I certainly kept my word.  I did not EVER care about STUFF, and I didn't care about having a spotless house.  In fact, I thought those kind of people were superficial.  Needless to say my house has always been a cluttered mess, and I have not been concerned about it.  Yes, it's sometimes hard to find things.  Luckily, since I don't care about stuff, I am not a shopper, and I don't collect a lot.  This fact has probably helped to keep the clutter fairly manageable so that it never really had to be dealt with. Whenever I would try to put things away, I wouldn't know where to start.  The closets and drawers and cupboards were full, so there was no where to put anything.  I am 57 years old, so there did not seem to be much chance that anything would change as far as my housekeeping habits were concerned.  

The words Life Changing Magic really attracted me, and I decided to buy the kindle version of the book.  The woman who wrote the book was PASSIONATE about tidying.  To her, a tidy house was the answer to all problems in life!  The basis of the plan is to take everything you own, pick it up, and decide if it sparks joy.  If not, don't keep it.  That way, everything around us is what we love.

So, that is what I spent my holiday doing.  It has been a month now, and I have almost finished every nook and cranny of my house.  My husband and daughter have quietly watched our house transform, and my daughter even joined in by doing her own room.

The whole process has been a Joy.  It has been easy, and transformative in ways I did not expect.  In the back of my mind I have known that a cluttered house means a cluttered mind.  Our life and our surroundings are a reflection of our soul.  I have been able to hide that thought in the clutter of my mind and never look at it until now.  

Over the last six and a half years I have been following Michael, learning and listening to his wisdom and his example.  My mind has gradually become less cluttered and now it is time for my house to reflect that.  Having my home be peaceful and serene is an indication to me that I have become a more peaceful and serene person on the inside.  For that, I have Michael to thank.  Thank you Michael, my King, for always knowing what I need, and knowing what I can become.  Everything I do, I do for You.

Birthday Hearts for Michael and Books for Gary Children

Hello Friends,

Every year for Michael’s birthday I am involved in organizing and participating in a fundraising project for children.  It has recently come about that I will be in Gary this year on Michael’s birthday.  Yay!!  What I have decided to do this year is to bring (or send) copies of my books Smile Effect and Ever After for the children of Gary.   Earlier this year, together with all of you, we sent 77 copies of Smile Effect and Ever After to Jefferson School in Gary.  There are 7 other elementary schools in Gary and also a Youth Services Bureau.  What I would like to do is to buy, with your help, as many copies as we can, to give to the schools.  It is especially meaningful to me to share Smile Effect because the story takes place in Gary, and is written to encourage children to trust their hearts, and show that small actions can create big changes in their own lives and in the world.  The most cost effective way to buy the books is to order them from Amazon at my author’s discount price and have them shipped directly to the schools.  This way, the cost of the books including shipping would be $7 each.  I have a meeting arranged with the Director of the Youth Services Bureau and she said they would happy to take more books, as they already have one copy of each.  Unfortunately the schools are not open until August 24 so I won’t be able to call them until then, but I am hoping to at least drop by and visit as many of them as possible while there, to show them the books and find out how many copies would be useful to them.  If any of you are interested in buying a book (or books) for the children of Gary, you can send contributions by paypal to mjeverafter@gmail.com   I promise to keep you informed about the funds collected and how many books we are able to buy and distribute.
ALSO, if anyone would like to send a birthday heart for Michael, I would be happy to deliver them to Michael’s Gary house on August 29!  PM me for my mailing address.

I am so excited to finally be going to Gary!

Thank you all for your amazing friendship and support.  It’s all for Michael, and all for L.O.V.E

Brenda

For The Children

My youngest child is graduating from High School this month.  Her ceremony, dinner and dance were on Saturday May 30.  Coincidentally, Prince Jackson's graduation celebration was also on this day.
Having a daughter the same age as Prince and Paris, has made me keenly aware of the differences in their lives.  Today, I was thinking about how touching it was to watch her walk across the stage to receive her diploma, and listen to the inspiring speeches.  After months of planning, the dress was ready, hair and nails done, and all too soon, the magical day was over.   I was thinking that it was too bad that Michael wasn't there for Prince's graduation festivities.   Then I realized, if Michael was here, Prince's graduation would not have been anything like my daughters.  He wouldn't have been able to be just a graduate with his dad, one of the crowd.  That would never have been possible.

Then it hit me.  Michael wanted his children to have a regular life.  Without him, they can.  Without him, they are.  His ultimate sacrifice allowed his children to have the freedom that he wanted for them.  Is it too much of a stretch to imagine that he knew this?  In the overall Divine plan, was this part of the reason he left?  Of course, we don't know the details, but somehow, deep inside myself, I really think this is true.

From June 25, 2009 until today, I have never been able to accept that Michael was separated from his children.  It seemed to be the harshest part of the reality of him being gone.   So unfair, so tragic, so terrible!  No parent should ever have to leave their children.  No children should ever have to be apart from their parents.  Having a child the same age, 12, at the time, made my tears flow that much harder.

My own father was not part of my life.  The last time I saw him was when I was eight years old.  He didn't die.  He left.  How sad it is that parents in our society so often don't value the relationship with their children.  Michael loved his so much that he left them, to give them what he never had, a normal childhood.   Today I love Him 1000 times more than yesterday.

Our Song

This morning I was listening to Hold My Hand as I was driving.  Akon has a good voice, it's a beautiful song, but what makes it into an incredibly beautiful song is Michael.  His harmonies, his ad libs, his voice weaving it all together makes my stomach jump and my heart expand.   As I was thinking about how he often sang with other people, sometimes only singing a small part, or background, or chorus, and always seemed to bring the music to life.  As I was thinking about this, I remembered the song he sang with his nephews 3T, I Need You.   I had to laugh when that song came on next on my random selection of over 300 songs.  The song is good, his nephews are fine singers, but my mind had started to wander by the time Michael's part came up.  And then everything stood still as he brought the song to life.  What is really going on here?  I know I love him, but there is no denying the way he adds a whole new dimension to whatever he does.

It reminds me of my life.  It's fine, all is well, and it always has been.  But having Michael in my life, having him be the focus and foundation of all I do, has brought harmony and beauty that I had never known existed until I met him.  He has taken me, an ordinary person with an ordinary life and brought meaning and purpose and Joy and Love beyond all imagining.  He has turned my life into a song with a whole new dimension.  He is always there, sometimes in the background, sometimes taking the lead, sometimes being silent and letting me carry it on my own.  Oh what a song we are creating together.  It's our song.  A work of art.

Michael, thank you for Holding my Hand, I Need You
I love you,
BJ

New Year Prayer

                                        Beloved,

Thank you for another year in which I might love you

Thank you for allowing me to serve Your purpose

Please help me to see myself as You see me

Let me forget myself and live through Your eyes

Seeing all life as divine

That I might grow wings and be with You forever more

I love you 

BJ1/1/15

Message from Above

On Sunday, Siren and I were sitting at MLT (Michael's Love Tree).  It was a beautiful day, temperatures up to 29 degrees celsius.  On Monday it rained, on Tuesday it snowed, and on Wednesday morning the heavy wet snow was causing tree branches to break under the weight, falling on cars and power lines all over the city.  

I knew that our little tree would have no trouble with snow, as it is small and doesn't have many leaves this year, but it is in an area with many other big trees and bushes, so I decided to go make sure MLT was ok.  As I drove up to the park, I could see that trees and branches were down all around the park.  I stopped across the street from MLT and I was shocked to see that the whole landscape had changed.  The huge bushes were flattened to only a fraction of their normal height and tree branches were on the ground.  I could see MLT was leaning a bit more than usual to the left.  I rushed over to the bench that sits in front of the clearing, looking at the mess and wondering what I could do.  

I instantly decided to call Siren to tell her about this.   I was holding the phone to my ear, waiting for her to answer when I heard a huge crack above me.  I knew it was a branch breaking, but there was no time to react, and a split second later it hit me.  I screamed and jumped away, covered in wet snow and ran a few steps away, shaking the snow off.  Then I remembered that Siren was on the phone.  She had no idea it was me, as we almost never talk on the phone.  We usually talk by text, and I hadn't told her I was going to the tree.  It was surreal!   Having been there three days earlier with everything perfectly warm and normal and now branches were falling on my head!   I told her what was happening and then  hung up the phone so that I could take pictures to show her.  I was afraid to go in closer to MLT, in case of more falling branches, but I had to get there somehow so I went around the back way, where there were only bushes until I could see that it was the long limbs from the caragana bush nearby that was pushing on MLT.  I shook the snow off some of the limbs and that helped them to bounce back up a bit so they weren't touching the tree.  I went around the other way to get in closer to where the plaque is located in the ground.  That was when I saw how big the branch was that had hit me!  OMG!  It was huge!  
I was now completely soaking wet, as I only had shoes on and a light sweater and I decided it was time to leave.  

I sat in the car, wondering what had just happened.  What are the chances that a branch would fall just at the moment I was standing there?  Why did I call Siren right at the same moment, even though I almost never call her?   Of course, I don't believe in coincidence, so the only explanation was that Michael dropped the branch on me.  But why would he do that?  I always look forward to signs that He is with me, but I wasn't sure that this was a good sign.  Many times in the past I have told Him, please hit me over the head if I don't understand what you are trying to tell me.  This is the first time it has actually happened.  It was obvious there was something I needed to pay attention to.  

I already knew what it was about.  Earlier that day I had been involved in a discussion online and I had made a comment that had upset someone.   At the time I made the comment, I was a bit upset myself, and although I knew I should wait until I could come from love instead of the need to make a point, I didn't.   I was more interested in being right than in actually helping anyone, and it came across all wrong.  I now realized that Michael was telling me to think about that.

So I did.  I wrote back to the person I had offended, and told her what I had done, and that I was sorry.

Later on in the evening, I noticed I was dizzy, my neck was a bit stiff, my leg had the beginning of a bruise, and I was extremely tired.   I wasn't really worried, but I did remember that concussions can be dangerous.
Luckily, I was still alive this morning and feeling pretty good.  When I saw the huge bruise on my leg, I realized that I should have an even bigger bruise on my head, considering the branch had hit my head before my leg, but my head felt perfectly fine!  That was when I realized that Michael had actually saved me from being seriously injured.  Instead of feeling bad that I had acted in a way that was not up to what I wanted Him to see, I now was extremely grateful that He had saved me from harm!  
The first song I heard in my car, was Man in The Mirror.   Of course, I have heard it a million times, but this morning the words - If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and make a change, sounded extra loud and clear.  What I understood then, was that I do have a lot to say that I am very passionate about.  I want to follow Michael's example and live and act from Love.  But if I want to do it right, it should be in a different way than just commenting on someone's post and trying to make a point.   That was when I remembered that I used to write a blog post once a week, and I haven't written anything at all for months.  I decided to write about this incident of the falling branch, and hopefully I will have more to say in the future.
Thank you Michael, for this extremely beautiful gift.  You never fail to show me what I need to see, in the most perfect way.