Oh Those Eyes! Call for Love devotion February 28

When I was learning about Michael, I remember watching the video of the 1984 Grammys when he took off his glasses.  When he took them off and looked, just for a moment so that we could see his eyes, I felt like I had been hit in the stomach with a baseball bat (and I know what that feels like because it happened to me once).  I couldn't breathe, my heart was pounding.  What WAS that?  I replayed the clip until I couldn't take it anymore.

  I remembered reading in Moonwalk that he said he wore glasses because he needed something between him and all the people and cameras.  He felt too exposed without the glasses on.  When I saw those melty eyes that contained the wisdom of the ages and every secret any of us has to keep, I could understand why he didn't let everyone see them.

Last night I read in Be Love Now, the description of Ram Dass' Guru's eyes  "Only once when I was with him did he open is eyes fully and look directly into mine.  The power of those eyes could take you into full samadhi  (bliss). But to do that prematurely wouldn't liberate anyone; it would just create another high, so he masked that power.  People couldn't bear that force, so he mostly kept his eyes half closed behind those long lashes."

Today I found out that it was on February 28, 1984 that he won the 8 Grammy awards, so I decided to write about this as my devotion.  Or did Michael decide it for me I wonder?  Enjoy this most beautiful clip of this most beautiful man.


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My Guru Michael

This is a quote from the book Be Love Now.  This book is by Ram Dass, detailing his relationship with his Guru, Maharaj-ji, and much of it describes what we are experiencing with Michael.  I have changed a few words only to leave out the personal references.

"In a way a being like that is everywhere you think of him.  He is, and in a funny way there's nothing you can say he isn't.  He has been know to show up in many places simultaneously, to appear and disappear.
He can be in thousands and thousands of places.  Many people have visions of him, dream about him, have visits from him, see him or remember him in a way that's very vivid - and in each case he IS with them.  Or an aspect of him is there, and the aspects can be as many as there are thoughts.  A realized being can send out his or her thought form, which is an aspect of that being, and that thought form takes on reality.  It becomes manifest somewhere and is truly seen by the person having the vision, dream or even ordinary waking consciousness.
The quieter your mind is, the more open you are to that meeting with the guru in the heart.  Your thought brings the guru to you the moment that thought is pure enough, intent enough, single-minded enough."

I know some of you have read, or are reading this book.  I do not feel the need to analyze the details of how the universe works, but I can relate to the experience that is described here, and throughout the book, and I know it is the same as what many of us experience with Michael.

Soul Sisters

We have different backgrounds, different experiences

Yet we have the same feelings, desires, thoughts

No need to speak, we understand each other

Yet we have so much to share, the words flow without effort

We are one

Yet this oneness brings out our individuality

It is a beautiful blend 

of support and love,

encouragement and fun

Her beauty makes me feel beautiful

She sees me as I am without judgement

I like the me I see through her eyes

She listens

She has faith in me

She has my back

We are limitless and free

Together we find joy,

Share sorrow and frustration,

We laugh, we cry,

we grow, we experience

unconditional love

Thank you Michael

for bringing us together 

Michael who?

On Sunday evening I attended a wine and cheese party at a family friend's house with my husband and 14 year old.  This family has 5 siblings, all about my age, 2 lawyers, 1 doctor, 1 commercial real estate developer, and a musical production director.  All very successful.  I am not comfortable in social situation such as this, and I felt very out of place and alone, along with my teenage daughter who was even more uncomfortable than I was.  I answered questions about our business, and personal life, and decided that if I were to tell them anything about the real me, the one who lives and loves Michael every minute of my life, they would definitely think I was completely off my rocker!  I mentioned that I went to L.A. in January, but not why I went or what I did.

When we got home, the Grammy's were on, and I felt sad that Michael will never be there again, the music world seems to be moving on.

I woke up on Monday, feeling depressed and miserable.  I was wondering if Michael would gradually be forgotten, people like me would fade away, nothing would really change.  It was an awful feeling.  Driving my daughter to school, I asked her, "What if the world forgets about Michael, and never catches on to what he really was about?"   Since she was a captive audience, I continued, "Last night I couldn't really mention Michael to those people, they wouldn't have understood me."  Then I heard myself say, "But I don't really know that do I?   If I mentioned him, they might have said, 'I grew up singing and dancing to Michael, I love him.'  Or the musical director might have said that Michael was the reason he decided to follow that career.  Since I didn't give them a chance, I might have missed out on making a connection or sharing Michael's message with someone."
My daughter said, "Wow, that story sure didn't end up where I thought it was headed!"
I said, "I know, I hadn't thought of that at all before I said it."
It wasn't that the world would forget Michael, but that I had denied him during that party.  I held back, because I didn't want to be uncomfortable talking about him with someone who might not understand.  By doing that I had missed the opportunity to share Michael with others, and to be myself.  This was the real cause of my morning depression.  I had let myself and him down by not being true to who I am.  This doesn't mean I should have related all the details of my pilgrimage to LA last month, but I could have at least been forthcoming and honest about where my true interest and direction lies.

Whenever I do not say yes to my heart, no matter how hard it might seem to be to do at the time, I can feel my energy lower.  When I stay true to my feelings, there is no limit to the bliss that fills me up.  This is a lesson I will remember.  There will be times when this situation arises again, and I know I will not let it pass me by again.

I'm sorry Michael.  Please forgive me.  Thank you.  I love you.

He Sees the Me I Want to Be

My life is divided into two

Before Michael, I was afraid

Since I met Michael, I am fearless

Before Michael, I felt alone, even when surrounded by people

Since I met Michael, I am never alone,

Before Michael, I searched for the meaning of life

Since I met Michael, I am filled with purpose

Before Michael, I was selfish and self-centered

Since I met Michael, other people's feelings have become important to me 

Before Michael, I wondered what love was

Since I met Michael, love spills from me without effort

Before Michael, I thought truth was in what I saw

Since I met Michael, I know truth is in what I feel

Before Michael, I took things for granted

Since I met Michael, I appreciate the tiniest of blessings

Before Michael, I was lost

Since I met Michael, I am found

Thank you, dearest Michael for seeing the me I want to be

and for your many blessings

I am yours