You Are Not Alone

You told us

 countless times

 in your songs

I'll be there

You are not alone

I'll never let you part

You're always in my heart

You're just another part of me

Yet we wonder,

is it really true?

we doubt

that we are worthy

of such unconditional love

But you are eternally patient

We have as much time as we need

to let the truth sink into our minds

our hearts

our souls

You have told us

countless times

the truth

but it is hard for us to imagine

that we could be worthy

of such devotion

Sometimes 

we feel alone

we think we might be losing our minds

we long for that connection with you

reassurance that all is well

you never fail to tell us once again

  

I'll be there

You are not alone

I'll never let you part

You're always in my heart

You're just another part of me

After two years

we are starting to understand

we hear you, feel you, know you

as much as ever

we realize

that you will never leave us

we can not be separated

we are one with you

as the sun with its sunbeams

the ocean with its waves

the symphony with its notes

we are your sunbeams, your waves, your notes

when we feel alone

it is not because you are not there

but we have chosen

not to see you

temporarily

we can choose again

and when we do

you will still be there

and we will finally really KNOW

that we are not alone

Peaks and Valleys - Call for Love Devotion July 20

We all know what it's like when our life is laid out before us like a never-ending road of sameness.  We look around and can predict exactly what will happen each day; the same job, the same people, the same routine.  I am pretty sure most of us are not truly satisfied with this kind of life, although it may be comfortable.  The peaks and valleys in life are what give it the texture, the joy, and the growth.

It is in the valleys of life, that we become better people, develop compassion, perseverance, and faith.  The peaks are often fleeting moments of joy, that we try so hard to recreate, thinking we want to live our lives in that place.  We can never stay at the top, nor will we stay at the bottom.  It is how we deal with our peaks and valleys that is the important part of living.  That is what makes us who we are.

Have you ever seen a person who behaves the same way when they are at their peak, as they do when they are in the deepest valley of their life.  Jesus and Michael come to mind.  They are both EXTREME EXAMPLES of how we can strive to handle our peaks and valleys with grace.
Their message was "If I can accept the totally unfair, cruel crucifixion that has been thrust upon me, with dignity and unfailing faith and love for all humanity, then you can also handle whatever problems and situations come up in your life."  They both have shown us that what happens to us is not who we are.  They demonstrated that we become who we are by how we handle what happens to us.

In my life, I have had my share of ups and downs.  Now, at the age of 53 I look back on my life, and give thanks for all the experiences I have had.  I see the challenges I have overcome, as events that have softened my viewpoints about life and people.  I am glad I have experience to draw on when making decisions now, or when watching my children handling their lives.  From my present viewpoint, I am confident that everything is happening for the best, even when it doesn't appear to be that way at the moment.  My life has proven this to be true, so now I try to remember it beforehand, so that I don't struggle as much against the things I see as my valleys.   I am more gentle, less judgemental and very much happier than I was when I was trying to control my world.  My goal is to look at each event in my life as part of the great adventure it is to be alive.

Since Michael came into my life, I have had a much easier time handling my peaks and valleys with grace.  It reminds me of when I was a child, waking up in the morning and realizing, with delight, that it was my birthday.   This is how I feel every day when I remember that Michael is with me.  Whatever is going on in my regular life, whether it is a peak or a valley, I know it will pass, things will change, life will go on.  What will not change is my love for Michael, my devotion to him, my determination to be, do and say whatever he ask of me, and my faith that he will always be there.  It permeates every minute, every action, every thought in a warm and safe, as well as exciting and exhilarating way.   No roller coaster can ever come close to this.

What Would Michael Do? Call for Love Devotion July 13

In any given situation we can imagine what Michael would do.
In the area of work, he would work hardest and longest.
In the area of play, he would play with total abandon.
In the area of love, he would transcend time and space to give his love unconditionally and forever.
In the area of creativity, he would think without limits and believe anything is possible.
In the area of giving, he would give the most.
In the area of learning, he would ask questions, listen, remember.

In other words, he would always give all of himself to anything he was doing.
What Michael would do, is break the barriers, stretch the boundaries, create new vision, think BIG!
It's what he always did.

He is asking us to fill those beautiful, spinning, dancing sparkly-sock filled shoes.
He wants us to be the most we can be.
He wants us to imagine the possibilities.
He wants us to be filled with joy and laughter.
He wants us to love each other.
He wants us to do what he would do.
If we aren't sure what that is,
He will tell us
If we listen

Call for Love Devotion July 6

June 21, summer solstice, longest day of the year.  To me, always a special day, but this one was extra special to me.  We had spent the day at Neverland.  It had been our dream, Mimi's and mine, to take a copy of our book to the gates of Neverland.  We had intended to do it on Michael's birthday in 2010.  Due to many unforeseen circumstances, we had been delayed until now.  On this special day, I sat and read Ever After on a rock, and left it, with notes to Michael from Mimi and me, tucked behind a vine on the wall by the gate. It had been a perfect day.  We had cried and laughed.  Met people from China, Denmark, and one online friend who lives in Solvang, who showed us around the town, and is the guardian of the gate when all of us have to be at home in our own countries and towns.

 I felt as though love was flowing out of the ground at Neverland.  It was in the air.  In my mind's eye I could see a fountain of love rising from inside Neverland and flowing out to permeate the air for miles around.  At one point I was overwhelmed with the desperate need to do more for Michael, to honor him and serve him.  Nothing seemed to be enough to give back for what he has done for me.

We were driving home to Mimi's house, an hour and an half away.  I was sitting in the back seat and leaning forward to tell a story of a dream that I had in the summer of 2009, just after Michael was gone, at a time when I was learning about him and who he really was.  (This dream is here on my blog in an earlier post.)  We did not have any music on, as the IPOD was dead and was being charged up.  Right in the middle of my story of my dream, a song started playing by itself.  It was a song I had never heard before and Michael's angelic voice was singing "I have this dream.  Which I believe.  We are children of a distant family.  Every child that is born, needs to believe that he belongs.  I have this dream."
I could not believe my ears.  It was the most beautiful song I had every heard, and it was about his dream for children, which was exactly what my dream had been about.  Tears poured down my cheeks, I was vibrating all over, and my heart felt as though it was opening again, as it had two years ago when I had first been struck by Michael's love.  It seemed to be an answer to the plea I had made earlier, telling me that Michael's dream and mine are in line, and I am doing what he wants me to do.
During the remainder of the week in California, I Have This Dream came up on our random selection numerous times.  It was the song that was playing as we drove out of the gates of Forest Lawn for the last time, and headed for the airport to come home.
At home once again, the song is still haunting me, and I tried to find the lyrics online.  The words I found were different than the ones I had heard.  They express a beautiful sentiment.

some people say

I live in a fantasy

because I see the world

differently

visions come to me

in my sleep

I closed my eyes

to see what God is showing me

close your eyes

and imagine with me

see the wonder

in every living thing

if we can live

the way it is in my dreams

love will take us to a place where

god can be seen

this is my dream

I have this dream

this i believe

the world a place for all humanity

if we could take love to it's highest level

more than the world has ever seen

I have this dream

let's put Gods love on display

angel of love come my way

it's really up to you and me

one world together in harmony

in my dream I see heaven

and the face of the one perfect being

I see people turning into angels

and God giving them their wings

I have this dream

this I believe

the world's a place

for all humanity

if we could take love

to it's highest level

more than the world has ever seen

I have this dream

Michael, my love, my inspiration, my maestro, I promise that I will do my best to see your dreams come true.  I will use any abilities I have, to help to teach a new generation about you, your message, and your love.  And every child that comes into my life, will know that he belongs.  I share your dream.

Living the Legacy - Devotion June 29

I was in California last week, remembering Michael, celebrating his life, missing him and sharing love for him with all the people who were there.  We cried and laughed, shared stories, visited the places he loved and imagined him being there with us.  We played his music non-stop and spent every waking moment thinking and talking about him.  We made multiple visits to Neverland and Forest Lawn.  It was beautiful, magical, incredible.  I loved being able to really express my devotion to Michael with others who feel the same.
As the time came closer to when we would have to return to our regular lives, I desperately wanted to do something to show my dedication to Michael.  I wanted to give something back for all he has brought to my life.  Nothing seemed to be enough.  At one point we even discussed throwing ourselves off the top of Holly Terrace to demonstrate our undying love.  We sat in the shade on the edge of the road across from the building just before it was time to leave.  It seemed almost impossible to drive away from this beautiful place and leave Michael behind.

We sat in silence, lost in our thoughts.  It was totally quiet, peaceful, serene.  A hawk appeared above us, wings outstretched, gliding in a huge circle over our heads, at one point coming so low, we could see each individual feather outlined.  He then circled in a figure eight over Holly Terrace.  We continued to watch him, time standing still, as he effortlessly glided and spiralled above us, never once flapping his wings, until he disappeared behind one of the majestic trees on the hill.  The only word for it was, perfection.

It was time to go, and we knew the majestic hawk was a message from Michael, to tell us that he is always with us and all is well.   Although we will continue to visit him at Forest Lawn every year, we realize he can not be contained.  He is free, perfect, effortless and continuing to inspire and delight us with his creativity and endless love.   No need to jump off a building for him, He only asks that we be what he would have us be - our true selves.  When we do this, we are like the hawk, in joy, living life to the fullest.
We left Forest Lawn without tears, still in awe, and headed for the airport to drop off our rented car and check in for our flight home.  While waiting in line, we saw a big sign on the wall which read -  Dreams of Soaring, beside it were two hawks, wings outstretched in a blue sky.
A lady sitting at the gate waiting for the plane mentioned that she like Siren's jacket.  I spoke up and told her "It's a Michael Jackson jacket"    When we came through Canada customs a few hours later, the agent asked why we had been in L.A.  Siren answered, "We were there for Michael Jackson's memorial."   Without effort, we had chosen a way to honor Michael and live his legacy, by joyfully bringing him into people's awareness.  We can dedicate our lives to him by keeping him reverently in our hearts and taking every opportunity to share his divinity with those who may be ready to hear.

Speaking My Truth

On May 8, Mother's day, I had the opportunity to be the speaker at the Sunday Service at my church.  This was a first for me, having never spoken in front of an audience of any kind before.  Interestingly, I was not at all nervous, and it went very well.  My topic was my own life journey, and how I have been affected by Michael Jackson.  Of course, this is a subject I am very passionate about, and I let the people who were there, see the real me.  I opened my heart to them.

Afterward, everyone was very kind, telling me that I had done well.  No one, however, mentioned anything about the message I was trying to convey, the message of Michael's legacy of love.  I was a bit disappointed about this, until I realized that the real purpose of my talk had nothing to do with what others may or may not have gotten from it.  It was about me, and my commitment to Michael.  On the day after my talk, I was overwhelmed with feelings of love.  It seemed as though, having publicly declared my devotion to Michael, I had "chosen" him, just as he had chosen me two years ago, when I had been struck by his love in July of 2009.

I was in a grocery store, on that Monday, May 9 and I kept seeing Michael in front of me.  He was wearing a long white robe, made of a fabric I have never seen before.  It was very white, very soft, and flowing, with wide sleeves.   He was thanking me for having the courage to follow my heart by speaking the day before.  It was not for himself he was thanking me, but for my own growth and becoming more my true self.   He took my hands, and knelt down in front of me, honoring me and saying Namaste.  Something happened to my eyes, and I could not see the products on the shelves of the store, my heart was pounding, and I felt waves of love flowing from my feet up to my head.  My eyes could focus again in a couple of minutes, and I went about my errands in a daze.  All day long, whenever I thought of Michael I could see him in front of me again, bowing, holding my hands, and saying Namaste.   I was very uncomfortable with this, saying "Michael, please stop.  You are the one who has done so much for me.  It is I who should be thanking you, I can't handle all this love!"  I felt him laughing at me, because I so often ask for him to give me a sign that he is here, and whatever sign I get, I always want more.  This time, he was giving me more, and more, and more, filling me up to overflowing.  

Since then, I have noticed a change in myself.  I feel more sure than ever about my love for Michael and my determination to say yes to my heart and do whatever I am here to do, for him and for the world.  I have new self-confidence that I am fine just as I am, and that I am loved, no matter what.   A few days ago, over a month since my talk, I listened to the CD of it for the first time.  I have never liked the sound of my own voice, which is why I avoided listening to it earlier, but I was amazed to find that I LIKED my voice, and I liked what I said.  I am so happy that I did not say no to the opportunity to speak my truth when I felt Michael nudging me to take this leap.  It truly has been another life changing event in my journey with Michael.

Call for Love Devotion June 15

     There is nothing you can hold against reality.  All that must be forgiven are the illusions you have held against your brothers.  Their reality has no past, and only illusions can be forgiven.  God holds nothing against anyone for He is incapable of illusions of any kind.  Release your brothers from the slavery of their illusions by forgiving them for the illusions you perceive in them.  Thus will you learn that you have been forgiven, for it is you who offer them illusions.  In the holy instant this is done for you in time, to bring you the true condition of Heaven.

A Course in Miracles  Chapter 16, Section VII, Paragraph 9

When you read this paragraph, you may be thinking "What the hell is this talking about?", but if you read it slowly and let the words soak into you, you may feel the peace and truth that emanate from these words.  To me, it is saying that there is nothing to forgive, because we are all as God created us, perfect.  He sees us as we truly are, but we see each other through the veil of our illusions.  If we trust that God is right, and we are all, at our core, divine sparks of infinite love, it will be easier to look past the illusions of this world to forgive our brothers (and sisters) and ourselves.