L.O.V.E in Action

I have been thinking about prayer and it's purpose.  Why do we pray?  Many of us join in the Major Love Prayer every month.  We have a weekly Prayer for Peace.  We ask for help when we are desperate, even if we don't really believe in a higher power.  When we're desperate, we'll try anything.

Does prayer really work?  Do we need to do it in a certain way, at a certain time?  Do we need to keep asking over and over again for whatever it is that we are praying for, or is once enough?  Each religion has it's own traditions and specific prayers.  Is it ok to make up our own?  And when we have prayed, does that mean we can sit back and wait for the results, or is there anything else we need to do?

The way I see it is that prayer is a way of asking for help to see Truth and Love in a situation.  If we can see Truth and Love, our actions will come from Truth and Love and our results can not help but be in the direction of Truth and Love.   Prayer is a way of taking a moment to separate ourselves from our egos and our physical selves to look at things from a higher perspective.  Prayer does not take the place of action, it guides our actions to be more effective, more loving, more unifying.

Michael believed in the power of prayer.  He told us often about his prayers of gratitude.  He also believed in action.  Not blind, retaliatory action, but strong, sure confident action that stood for Truth and Love.  We can not hide behind prayer and leave the action up to God, to Michael, or to others.  We need to pray to fill our hearts with understanding and love and then follow through with whatever action this inspires us to take.   Prayer and Action are partners that work together to bring Truth and Love to the world and help us to care for each other and our planet.  If not us, who?  If not now, when?

Truth

Truth. Where do we find it? What can we put our faith in? This world is our reality at the moment, and we have much to learn from it, and from Michael's experience here. We can not dismiss it, as much as we would like to sometimes, because we are here for a reason. Still, we can remember that there is much that can not be seen from our current perspective. Our best guide to Truth is how we feel in our hearts and what we Know without knowing how. Let us not despair that the world doesn't seem to make sense, that it is upside down in it's thinking and values. We are here to change the world, and we do that by seeing it as Michael does. The way it could be. His faith does not waver, and our faith in Him is all we need, to be able to smile in the face of the craziness that goes on and know that there really is another tomorrow, it's already here today. Please help us to remember this, Michael, as the world continues to misunderstand you and attack you for no other reason than the fact that you are the mirror that shows us who we are.

He Knows Me

Last week my husband was out of town for a few days and I had the rare opportunity to watch Michael in concert. It was a wonderful experience. I am truly grateful that we are able to feel the power of his live performances and will always have those times preserved. As I finished watching Live in Bucharest I became painfully aware that this man, who I Love more than I have ever thought possible to love, did not know me. I am one of the hundreds of thousands of fans he didn't know. In fact, I am less than that because I was not even in that crowd. Oh how that hurts to realize and admit! But even as those thoughts arose in my mind, they were immediately followed by an absolute KNOWING that He does know me.
The physical man Michael who is no longer here did not know me, but that is not all of who he is, and it is not all of who I am.
I am not the kind of person who sees visions, or hears voices. I have wished many times that I was. Instead, my spiritual awareness comes in the form of a sudden KNOWING, or sometimes physical sensations like tingles or waves of feelings. This time the knowing, which is more like a download of truth than an explanation in words, was that Michael knows me as well as I know myself, even better, because I am so limited by my physical senses. I don't have proof of this, but I do know it, and I have known it in my heart for the past four years. I will never stop regretting that I didn't love him while he was here, because it is His human form who I see and love and learn from, and I was not there for him during those 50 years when I wish I had been. Still, He reassures me that the way I know him now is every bit as real and meaningful. How incredibly forgiving and loving and beautiful He is.
Thank you Michael ,
I love you
BJ

Real Magic

Michael LOVED magic.  We know this already, but this week I have come to see the desire that Michael had for the world to be magical, in a new way.   I read The King of Style.  I have had the book for a while, and have previously looked at the pictures of Michael's beautiful clothes, but this week I actually read the text and I found it to be every bit as beautiful as the photos.  Michael Bush shares his relationship with Michael in a very personal and open way.   Two things stood out for me the most.  One was Michael's desire for his concerts, his clothing and his life to appear magical to his fans.  The other was the way that Michael Bush and his partner Dennis were able to grow and expand their awareness, their talent, their abilities, their beliefs and their entire way of seeing the world, through working with Michael Jackson.  They were students of his way of seeing possibilities instead of limits, his ability to think outside the box and believe in impossible things.  With his trust and encouragement and belief in their abilities, they were able to rise to the occasion and become the best they could be at what they loved to do.  This is what Michael did in his own life, and what I believe he thought possible for all of us to achieve.  With a combination of belief, expectation, gratitude, excitement, encouragement and childlike anticipation, Michael had a way of bringing out the best in Michael Bush and Dennis which was an incredible talent in it's own right.  An ability that every parent could use in raising their children, and every employer could use to motivate their employees.  Every person in every relationship would do well to show faith in the ability of others to be the best they can be.  The commitment and devotion to Michael, that his personality brought out in these two men is what I feel Michael has also brought out in any and all of us who love him.  He has helped us to find ourselves.  This real life evidence of what I have know in my heart for four years has touched me very deeply and if possible, made me love him even more.  He believed in magic, he wanted everyone to see the magic in the world.  I think HE was the magic.

Heal the World For Michael

A few months ago, Ann Cavanaugh mentioned that she thought it would be a wonderful idea if, on June 25, all the people at Holly Terrace could sing Heal the World for Michael.  In other years, people had tried singing but it was not everyone, and many didn't know the words so it sort of fizzled out early.   Siren and I thought it would be a good idea, and we said we would be there to back her up if she decided to organize it.  Ann arranged for the three of us to have a singing lesson with a professional singer.  The main thing I got out of that lesson was to sing loud and don't hold back.

For the next six months, I sang Heal the World at the top of my lungs every time it came on in the shuffle in my car.   I knew the words because in 2009 I had printed them out, and got my husband to make a CD with just that one song on it, and I played it constantly for weeks!  The lyrics, to me, are the key to the Universal Love all in one song.
As it turned out, Ann was not able to be in LA on June 25, so it didn't look like the singing was going to happen.  I was disappointed because I really thought it would be such a great thing to do for Michael.  

I mentioned the idea to other people who I knew would be there on June 25.  At one of the MJ activities I was at, I saw a person who seemed like a great people organizer and I mentioned the idea to her.

June 25 came, and we spent the day at Holly Terrace.  At about 2:20 someone started calling for us all to get into a big circle for our moment of silence for Michael at 2:26   We all complied and there was a huge oblong shape of over 200 people holding hands in a circle.  The the guy called out, where is Brenda Jenkyns?  What????  I stepped forward and he told the crowd that I had suggested for us all to sing Heal the World after our moment of silence.  Yay!!  I went back to my spot with Siren and Moon Dancer and we did our silent prayer.  The the guy said,  Brenda, will you now lead us in singing Heal the World.

Complete silence.
OMG! Luckily I knew the words so well that nothing could make me forget the first line, so I closed my eyes, took a deep breath,  and started singing as loud as I could.  Of course, everyone joined in after the first two words and I continued to sing loud, with my eyes closed and tears running down my face.  It was wonderful.   All of us there, loving Michael, and singing for him,  his own message of Love as a promise to carry on for him.  Since the group was so big, it was hard for us to keep together, but we managed to sing pretty well the whole song and it was fantastic!!!  

Now I can add singing in public to the list of new things that Michael has somehow managed to get me to try, along with speaking in public, drawing, dancing, writing books ....... I don't think there is anything left.  If there is, I'm sure it will appear before me and I will somehow manage to do it, for Him.

One Heart Opened

Another year, another trip to LA is over already.  I can't even begin to tell you how these visits are the highlight of my life.   To be in Michael's places, to walk where he walked and see what he saw is wonderful.  To be with people who think like me, who love Michael like I do, and to be able to be myself and express my devotion without holding back, fills me up with love that sustains me for the rest of the year.  On this trip we experienced many adventures and miracles as we always do.   This is one of them.
This was the fourth time that Forest Lawn Cemetery has been host to the people who love Michael on the 25th of June.   If you have been there on those days you will have seen the way the security guards handle the fans and the overall security that is enforced.  The first year, fans were not able to get close to Holly Terrace, they were not allowed to stop walking as they were shepherded through a line of barricades and were not treated like the grieving loved ones that they were.  Each year since then, the security has lessened, as the administration of Forest Lawn has learned what to expect from the people who visit.  The second year there were no barricades, except at the sidewalk up to the doors of Holly Terrace.  Guards were still there, and kept the visitors off the grass, making sure they were behaving, acting as though we were intruding on their space by being there.  The third year, the security was less conspicuous, quiet and watchful, but not intrusive on our activities and demonstrations of love.  This year they seemed almost friendly, and interacted with the fans, chatting to us as we spent a long day together in the LA sun.  Although closing time is five, we were there at least until six, as were many others, and no one asked us to leave.

The next morning, when we returned, we were happy to see that the barricade was gone already and we were able to go up on the terrace again to Michael's doors.  There is one security guard who has been there all four years.  He was very angry and vocal the first year, and he is the one we were most afraid of.  He acted like he hated every one of us for just being there and seemed to have no compassion at all!  He was the one we had imagined banning us from Forest Lawn forever if he caught us with the butterflies last year.  
We were there, sitting on the terrace when the "mean" security guard came up.   He asked us what we were going to do that day and stayed and talked to us about Michael, telling us how he had listened to all Michael's music when he was younger and remembering Thriller with us etc.  He talked about the fans who come and leave such beautiful gifts and cards for Michael.  We showed him our books and art created for Michael and gave him copies of everything we had.  As all this was happening I was looking at him and seeing a different person than he had been three years ago.  There was no resemblance at all except his physical body.  What happened?  Here was a miracle right before our eyes.  Michael's love, and the love this man has witnessed in this place over the last four years has transformed him into someone else.   I was wondering if his wife and family had seen a change in him. I wondered if he even realized what had happened.  Did he know this transformation came from Michael?   Is he happier and fulfilled in his work and life now?  One of the best things about it is that the people like us, who have seen this change occur have witnessed the effect Michael can have on someone, not just while he was here, but since he has been gone.  There is no end to his influence or his ability to change people's lives.  We all know it, but this security guard at Forest Lawn is a living testament that we have witnessed with our own eyes.   What a beautiful gift that Michael has bestowed on him, and on us.  I will cherish it always.

Beyond Reproach

Many people think that I, (and others), look at Michael as my Jesus. This is uncomfortable, upsetting and blasphemous to some, so I would like to clarify what this means to me.
I do not think Michael IS Jesus.  I do believe that they have the same purpose and the same message of Love.
I think they both lived a human life, and felt and experienced the joy and pain of being human.  This includes making choices and living with the results of those decisions.  
I want to make it clear that I love Michael as much for his humanity as I do for his Divinity.  it is his humanity which allows our hearts to be opened.  It is his humanity which allows us to forgive ourselves and one another.  It is his humanity which gives us hope that we really can make a difference and change the world.  
I do not turn a blind eye to the details of his life, I give him the respect to be himself and make his choices as he saw fit.  I don't know if he could have chosen better.  I don't know what it was like to be him.  I do believe that he always made his decisions unselfishly and for reasons that are so huge, and loving and giving of himself that we can not even begin to understand the meaning of it.  This makes him Beyond Reproach, not because he always chose perfectly in the eyes of the world, but because he always chose out of Love.  The world can not change if we make our decisions out of fear, or expectations, or conformity or status quo.  It is only choosing out of Love that brings light to the world.  It is not Michael that should have done ANYTHING differently in his life.  It is the world that should have been open to receive this beautiful Light, this gift from God, this treasure that was given to us.  It isn't too late, He is still here, and He has not given up on us.  That is why Michael is, not my Jesus, but My Michael.