Keeping the Faith

Our book, Ever After, has been out for 4 months now. The first books I mailed were to Michael's children and mother. At that moment, I felt that the main purpose for writing the book had been fulfilled. I guess that is not totally true, as I had ordered 5000 copies! But it was written with them in mind, to comfort them and give them a keepsake of the most precious person in their lives.

Since then, as I have been mailing out books to MJ lovers all over the world, I have come to realize that my book is also for anyone who loves Michael, anyone who wants to learn about the essence of who he was, and for the children who were not on this earth at the same time he was. I have been reluctant to promote the book, thinking that the people who need it will find it. I still believe this. I also believe that I am here to follow where my heart leads, and not hold back. This is the promise I made to myself when Michael died.

I find I have been holding back when it comes to selling the book. Not wanting to put myself in the spotlight. I also have a underlying belief that salespeople are pushy and try to make people buy what they really don't want or need. My job now, is to change that belief, especially when it concerns Ever After. I am so proud of this book, and I really believe it can help people to begin to think differently about themselves and what they can accomplish in life. Michael's example is so inspiring.

Now I am following up my ideas, donating to libraries and hospitals on request, doing an interview for a magazine, asking people to share our website with their friends, posting on MJ fan pages and sites. I see Ever After blanketing the world in Michael's love and making a difference.

My plans do not include mass marketing on Amazon or bookstores, although this would give Ever After exposure to unlimited potential buyers, the percentage they keep would make it impossible for us to give 20% of the price to charity, and for me to compensate Kathy for her beautiful illustrations which she did for next to nothing. Our intention from the start, was to keep the price low enough for most people to be able to afford. Getting involved with a distributor would just not allow us to do this.

It has been such a joy for me so far, to be mailing our beautiful book to people everywhere. I still have quite a stack of boxes of books left, but I have faith that their owners will be contacting me soon.

Closer Than Ever

When Michael was here, his energy connected with all those who loved him. He said he could feel the loving energy washing over him in waves when he was performing. People all over the world loved Michael without knowing him or ever meeting him. They connected energetically.

On the physical level, this could not be. Michael was lonely even though he felt the connection to so many. His physical body had to be kept separate from others, for his safety as well as theirs. Bodies can not join the way minds can.

Imagine the joy he must feel now that he has the freedom to be close to all of us with no body to contain him. He is truly free to connect with us as he was never able to before. It is up to us to do our part, to communicate with him through our love and carry on his work, each in our own way, by being his hands, his feet, his voice in this world. He is counting on us to follow our heart's desires as he did, and make a difference.

Believe

In the months since Michael left his physical body, many people have seen and felt him around in different ways. He has been seen in the clouds, his image on walls, visiting in dreams, radios turning themselves on, songs in people's heads, ideas for writing, art, charity work the list goes on. Are these people all imagining things? Or is Michael really still here, connecting with the people who love him?

I have noticed that there is never any concrete proof that it is real. It is up to the person to know it, or doubt it. I have been one who has had a few experiences that seem to show that Michael is helping me, reassuring me, guiding me, letting me know he is here. Although I have always wanted to believe in miracles, I have, at the same time, looked for that proof that will definitely show that what I am seeing or feeling is real. What I have come to realize, is that the important ingredient in miracles is belief. Without belief, there is no miracle, and if someone needs proof, they are not believing. This is why there will never be absolute physical proof of these types of phenomenon, but there is that wonderful knowing that comes with it, which for me, finally, is all the proof I need.

A couple of months ago, before going to sleep, I asked Michael if he could please give me a hug.

For some reason, I really wanted him to come in my dreams and give me a big hug, I was imagining how wonderful that would be. In the morning, I did not remember any hugs from Michael. I drove to work, and had my Michael music on in the car as always, I was thinking about other things and not really listening to the music. As I parked my car, the music changed in a way I can't describe. It was suddenly more clear and beautiful and grabbed my attention as Michael sang:

Just the other night, I thought I heard you cry, asking me to come, and hold you in my arms. I could hear your prayers, your burdens I will bear, but first I need your hand, then forever can begin.

I knew it was my hug.

My Forever Resolution

A new year always gets people thinking about what they would like to change in their lives. Quitting bad habits, physical changes such as losing weight, getting that bigger house or new car. The new year seems like a fresh start, a clean slate and another chance to change what we don't like. But once we smoke that first cigarette of the year, or eat the chocolate cake, or spend too much on credit once again, we give it all up. Too late for this year. That one slip, causes us to give up on ourselves and our possibilities.

Whether I have not wanted to make promises I won't keep, or just have been basically satisfied with my life, I am not sure, but I have never been one for making New Year's resolutions. My one and only BIG resolution happened on July 7, 2009. That was the day of Michael's memorial service. On that day, my heart opened and my life was changed forever. I saw a man who was the same age as I was, who had used his life to give his gifts to the world without reservation, who had never stopped doing what he felt he was here to do. I saw a man who was loved by the world and who loved the world back.

In that moment I knew that I needed to step up and do what I am here to do. At that time, I had no idea what that was, but I made a promise to myself, to Michael, and to God that I would ALWAYS follow my heart, say yes to my ideas and follow through NO MATTER WHAT.

In the year and a half since that day, I am proud to say that I have not given up on that resolution. I have been afraid, I have wondered about my sanity, and I have stood up for my ideas and insisted on doing what I knew was right for me to do even when it didn't seem to make sense. It has become my new habit to say yes to my heart instead of taking the easiest path. It has also been the most rewarding, exciting, meaningful, loving time of my life. I know I will never stop following Michael's example, and I am so grateful to him for showing us all how to be L.O.V.E. in the world.

We all have our own gifts to give, there is no doubt about that. The only question is, will we be true to ourselves and express our gifts as Michael did, or not. If we do, we really will make a difference and change the world. Let's make Michael proud in 2011

Happy New Year!

52 Weeks

During the week between Christmas and New Year's, one year ago, I wrote a little story. At the time I called it The Boy. It seemed like a nice little story, and I loved writing it. It was about Michael Jackson, the story of his life, written like a fairy tale.

In January, I thought it might be a book that I could send to his children. I enjoyed editing, and finding the perfect word or phrase, and cutting unnecessary parts out.

In February, I sent the story to Michael's mother, and his children.

In March, I saw a beautiful painting of Michael's Giving Tree on facebook, and asked the artist if she would be interested in illustrating a picture book. She said yes.

During April, we got to know each other by email and discussed possible pictures. The name of the story had changed to Ever After.

In May, Mimi sent me the first illustration, Baby Michael. I had chosen a printer, applied for an ISBN number, reserved a domain name and a few other administrative tasks. We decided to market and distribute the books ourselves, so that we could donate 20% of the selling price to charity in Michael's name.

In June, Mimi took a leave of absence from her job to work on the illustrations. We had given ourselves a deadline. We wanted to take the finished book to Neverland on Michael's birthday.

In July, Mimi did not go back to her job. She continued working full-time on the illustrations. The last picture was finished on July 30.

In August, we got the pictures and text layout to the printer. Chose colors for the the text pages, finalized the cover. Saw the proofs, and approved them. We launched our website by tagging one of the illustrations to 50 friends on facebook. The pre-orders started to come in.

The books were received on September 22, a bit late for Michael's birthday, but we were thrilled. I sent the first 4 books to Prince, Paris, Blanket and Katherine. We had pre-orders for about 200 books, so I was busy mailing them out.

October, November, December - orders continue to come in through our website, as people hear about the book. I have mailed them all myself, and emailed all the wonderful people who have ordered. As of today, December 29, we have sent out over 600 books to people all over the world, and have donated $1,320 to children's charities in Michael's name.

When I wrote the story in my little notebook one year ago, I never imagined the changes it would bring to my life, and hopefully, to the lives of many other people, in such a short time.

Thank you God, and thank you Michael

L.O.V.E. Brenda - December 29, 2010

Why I Love Michael Jackson

I love him because he never stopped doing what he believed he was meant to do. Criticism and judgement from others hurt him, but did not make him waver in what he knew to be true about himself and why he was here. He wanted to make a difference and he did. He wanted to be remembered forever and he will be. I admire him because he accomplished his dreams in spite of his shyness, dislike of his appearance, lack of a childhood. He did not use these as excuses to not follow his heart. I love him because of his love of children, his own childlike innocence and love of fun. He inspires me because he was always expanding his thinking about what was possible, eager to learn new things, willing to work hard to make things happen, and not afraid to be different.

I love the messages in his lyrics, the way he sang and danced with passion and the way he connected with his fans. Whatever people think or say about him they can never say that he wasted his 50 years. I do not believe in death and I know he chose the perfect time to leave this world. I am happy that a new generation of the children he wanted to help is now learning about him. I have been inspired by his example to live and enjoy every day, say yes to life and make a difference in whatever way is mine to do.

Brenda Jenkyns

October 17, 2009

The Dream

This is a dream I had sometime in the summer of 2009. I didn't take note of the date because at the time I did not realize it's meaning or significance.

In this dream, Michael had come to my house to hang out and relax and be a regular person for the day. I don't remember what we did but I remember being amazed at what a regular person he was. I wanted to be sure that he experienced a normal day with no fanfare.

At one point there were children all around, playing. I started to think that the children might want something to drink. I was in the kitchen and said to Michael, "What would the kids like to drink?" I was looking in the fridge, "We have milk, water, juice...." I looked over at Michael who was standing at the sink with his back to me. He had a big plastic jug and was filling it up with water and mixing it with a frozen can of some kind of juice, stirring it with a big wooden spoon. He gave me a thumbs up with his right hand over his shoulder to tell me he had it under control.

Later on, when it was time for Michael to leave, I wanted to get a picture taken with him. He agreed, but I suddenly realized that he wanted to be a regular person for the day, so I did not get the picture taken. I felt bad that I had acted like he was a star instead of a person.

It was weeks later when I realized that the dream was a message to me. I wanted to do something to make a difference, something to help children but I didn't know what it was they needed. Michael already knew what they needed and he was telling me that he had it under control, and if I followed his lead, he will show me what they need. The house we were in was the house I grew up in, and we had juice made in a plastic jug just the way Michael was making it. I think he was saying that what children need is good old fashioned homes with lots of love and traditions.

When I went to see This Is It, he did a thumbs up to one of his musicians, just the way he did in my dream. I got shivers at that moment and I knew it was a message to tell me that it really was Michael in my dream. (Thumbs up is not a gesture used in my family or my life at all, and I did not know that Michael ever did it either.)

Since then, Michael has indeed shown me the way that I can be of service to the children of the world and I have tried to follow through as best I can, and not hold back. It has been the most rewarding time of my life, and I am forever grateful to him for being there for all of us.