"People sit around the table and pray - and that's beautiful, but to DO something is the thing, you have to ACT."
These words of Michael's have been haunting me lately. I have been wondering what it is I am supposed to be doing. What is the point of this journey I am on? Am I meant to be spending my time on line looking at pictures of Michael, watching videos of him, missing him, talking about him, demanding justice for him? Or is there more? Yesterday I found myself, for the first time, wondering if I should go back to being "normal". It seemed to me that I was kidding myself, maybe making this whole connection with Michael up. Is he really still around? Looking around the world, it seems that nothing is getting any better. I have become so sensitive to the pain, that I can not even watch a bit of news, or a program about animals without it affecting me for days. Seeing a mother yelling at her children in the market makes me fight back tears. What is going on? I never used to be this way. I had been living in my own little world, maybe a little bored, but content. Now the weight of the world is on my shoulders and it is just too much! Better to go back to the way I was before I met Michael.
Luckily, I talked to my beautiful friend, Siren, about my feelings, and she immediately understood and talked to me, without any judgement, only love and understanding, as well as total confidence that we are not making this up, and there is a perfect plan that is unfolding. Earlier, I had read Heaven's latest post on her HeavenLeigh Thoughts blog, and I went back to read it again. This is the part that stood out for me:
I have transformed to a place where you miss me, yet I am embedded in your thoughts and movements in a new and spectacular way. Fusion of spirit...no time...no separation. In a way it seems I am not with you, for I am now in you.
In thinking about this as a message from Michael, (although Heaven does not say it is), everything suddenly became much clearer to me. On that day in 2009 when I was "struck" by Michael's love, could it have been a merging of souls? I became bigger, because a part of him was now a part of me, and he became bigger because I had become an extention of his love. This would explain the change in how I viewed the world. It was almost like I was seeing it from his eyes, and my continuing and growing compassion and love for all people, animals and the earth seem to be more typical of Michael, than the me I used to be. If you multiply this by the number of people who have been affected by Michael, it would seem that we really are one, and he is here, through us. Instead of waiting for Michael to let me know he is here, asking him what to do, needing him to take care of me, wanting the physical Michael back, although I never knew him then, this new perspective gives me the confidence and determination to BE what Michael would have me be. I will know what that is, because he is now creating his dreams, with me, through me, as me. It has been happening for two and a half years already, I just didn't know it. My little book, Ever After, is a creation of Michael's and mine, together, as a gift to the world. Neither one of us could have done it without the other. My thinking has been much too small, and now I feel that a whole new way of thinking has opened up for me to grow, to be who I really am, to share the truth of Michael with whoever may be listening. This does not mean that I won't be loving pictures and videos and music of Michael's, because his energy is still there for us, but I won't be thinking he is separate from me anymore. And I definitely don't want to go back to being "normal"
2 comments:
Thank you Brenda. It is reaffirming and healing to me to find validation when I sometimes drift into a sea of doubt. Thank you for your kind healing words, both public and private. I believe people are looking for a "next job" re:Michael. There's a sense of relief and also more loss, maybe. We have "justice." I can hear the loud cry of "What do we do for Michael now?" I've been invited to "Murray's Going to Jail!" type celebrations. But I can't see Michael doing that. My heart's not there.(Not that people aren't well-meaning with this approach). Focusing on Michael's life mission seems the only logical choice. Giving, loving and helping the child in everyone. (His speech at Oxford regarding family time and focusing on teaching children their worth comes to mind). It may seem too simple, but it's the biggest job of all. I believe we have been forever awakened, forever changed. And your book is VERY important - not little - it shows that you understand him and want to share that with generations to come. Thank you to you and Mimi - Kathy Garren for your beautiful work. You have much more to do. We're just getting started! :) LOVE, Blissings and Faith, ~h~
When I read your post, I thought, "We each change what we touch". Michael has touched you, and you will never be the same. I know because I like many others, have had a similar experience. The best thing that we can do for Michael is to show that we got what he was saying to us. And that's what you've been doing. :) Thanks, by the way. Because you have followed through with your mission I and many other people, feel a little more courage to follow through with things that we feel compelled to do. Keep Michaeling.
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