Time Well Spent

Time is of the essence

Time waits for no man

Time ticks on

Time flies

My life is very full.  Every day I have so many things to do, work related, family related, Michael related.  There are jobs I never seem to get around to doing, such as my business accounting, or other projects or chores that don't have a deadline.  Last week I took a day to visit Siren and draw Michael.  As I was driving to her house, I was feeling a bit guilty about all the things I SHOULD be doing, rather that drawing Michael, which really was just a luxury that I was indulging in.  

This week I am taking care of my one year old grandson for three days while my daughter goes to work.  I love being with him, he is such a happy, easy baby, but I was concerned that with such a big chunk of my time occupied with him, I would not get my usual jobs done.

Both of these activities have caused me to think more about time, and this is what I have realized.
There will never be enough time to do everything.  I thought about the day I spent with Siren, and what a difference it made to my view of myself to discover that it is possible for me to draw.  The impact on my life is huge!  This is a gift that can never be taken away from me.  Whether I draw him every day, or never again, I will always know that I can do it.  What other limits have I imagined I have?  Maybe I can do anything I choose!!!!   The value of the time I took that day can not be measured.  If I had done a bunch of errands instead, it would not have come close to making such a difference in my life.  Maybe time can not be measured by a checklist.

Yesterday was the first day babysitting my grandson.  I got so much done it was amazing!  My usual Monday errands I had done on Sunday, so I was already ahead.  He had a long nap in the morning and I was able to do some things I had been putting off for weeks.  Instead of being behind, I was actually way ahead!  This made me completely relaxed and able to really BE with him and enjoy it.  It was such a special day!  If I were to die tomorrow, I would be so happy to have spent time alone with my little Ryder Michael.

I have decided to measure time in terms of Joy.  This does not mean that I will stop doing the daily and weekly chores, but I know there is plenty of time to do what matters most.

A Moment out of Time

This is a combination of a dream, a vision and my imagination.  I'm not sure where one ends and the other begins, but this experience was very real and meaningful to me.

Siren and I were having dinner in a restaurant in LA.  The lighting was warm and soft and we were enjoying ourselves as we always do when we are in that most special of cities.  We were sitting in an alcove of the restaurant, and there was an empty booth beside us, across a small aisle with a window.  I had my back to the wall, and Siren was facing the window.  Some people came in, apparently through the back door, and were shown to the booth across from us.  As they were getting settled, we saw that it was Michael and his children.  There were two bodyguards with them.  Prince and Paris sat across from me, with their backs to the wall, and Blanket and Michael sat facing the window, across the aisle from Siren.  The bodyguards took their seats in the booth behind the family.  The way the restaurant was set up, Siren and I were the only people who could see Michael and his children.  It was very private for them, and they immediately started looking at the menus.  Michael was helping Blanket choose what he would like to order, and he seemed very relaxed and comfortable.

We were frozen.  My heart was stopped, I couldn't think, I couldn't talk.  I could only look at him and realize that this was the one and only time I would ever get to see him.  My one chance to tell him how much I love him.  My one chance to touch him.

After the initial shock, we tried to act normal.  We tried to talk, and pretend to eat, and sip our drinks.  What should we do?  We knew of course, that if we truly love him as much as we think we do,  we would leave him alone and not intrude.  He did not have many opportunities to be himself, out in public with his children.  We were being given a glimpse of a rare moment of Michael experiencing what he wanted most.  To be "normal."   We had to leave him alone.  We didn't even need to say it to each other, we both knew.

I tried to watch and memorize every move he made, every gesture, every soft word spoken to the kids.  It was bliss and torture.  He seemed to purposely not look our way.  He probably was good at that, so as to avoid having to interact with every person he ever met.  It was all I could do to keep from crumbling up into a heap on the floor.  I could FEEL him, his energy was so beautiful.  They were enjoying each other's company.  The kids were telling stories and Michael was listening to them, asking questions and smiling.

After what seemed like two seconds, or an eternity, they were finished their meal and were getting ready to leave.  The bodyguards stood between them and the rest of the restaurant, so that we were the only people who could see them.  That was when Michael came over to our table.  He smiled at each of us, and said "Hi".  We didn't, couldn't, speak.  We just stared at him, completely overwhelmed with emotion.  He said, "Thank you for being so sweet and letting me have my family time.  I saw that you recognized me, and I appreciate that you didn't attract attention to us.  Would you like me to sign something for you?"  Of course we would, but we didn't have anything.  We started scrambling around, looking for anything to write on.  We still hadn't said a word.
"How about these," Michael said, picking up a couple of paper table napkins.  A bodyguard handed him a pen and he signed them.  As he put the napkins back onto the table, he reached out and squeezed our hands.  My right hand, Siren's left.  I just had to tell him.  We looked up at him and said, "I love you Michael", at exactly the same time.  He smiled again, his beautiful smile, and said, "I love you more."
Then he turned, "These are my children, Prince, Paris and Blanket."  The kids smiled at us politely and we said hi.  Then the bodyguards ushered them quickly out the back door.  They were gone.  It had been a success, no one else had noticed them.
We looked down at the napkins on the table.
They said, Thank you, I love you, Michael Jackson

Tolerance and Intolerance - Oprah Update

This week was one with many opportunities to observe and choose my action and reactions.  From hockey games, to homeless people, to ex business associates, to spending 24/7 with my husband and daughter for 4 days, to Oprah.   During the hockey game, I was wondering how people could be so emotionally involved in something that doesn't really matter.   The homeless people, I tried to help, especially when Michael reminded me by singing Man in The Mirror just at the right moment.  The ex business associate I ignored as much as possible because I felt that we had been treated badly in the past.  The close quarters with my family had its up and downs, but was fun overall.  Then came Oprah.
As I was sitting in the seat, waiting for her to come out to speak, I looked around at the crowd.  Mostly women, at least 90%.  In fact, my husband had a hard time finding a Men's washroom because most of them had been changed to Ladies rooms for the evening.   I had these words repeating in my mind "Give her a chance.  Give her a chance.  Give her a chance."  So I did.

She was funny.  She was interesting.  She was well spoken.  Her talk was about her own life story,  describing her turning points, the adversities she has overcome, to show others that they too, can follow their dreams and live their own best life.  My husband's 25 year old daughter was there, and for her it was inspiring to see that someone can come from very humble beginnings and make their life whatever they want it to be.   Oprah is an extreme example of that.  For me, it was an entertaining evening, but being devoted to Michael, no one else can ever hold a candle to him.  How could they?  He is so far beyond Oprah, she can't even see him from where she is, she never could.  That's just how it is.

Oprah has her own role to play in the world.  I know she has helped a lot of people, she has made a difference to many, and she has an inspiring life story.  She has not wasted her life.  I think she has a lot to teach, and she also has a lot to learn.  As do we all.
I gave a package of seven copies of Ever After to the Guest Services office for Oprah, and they assured me that they would be delivered to her.   I will most likely never know if she reads it or not, but I hope she does, and if she does, I hope it wakes her up to the truth of Michael.  If she gets even a glimpse of who he is, it just might change her life.

Michael and Oprah

I am going to Vancouver today with my husband and daughter.  We have tickets to see Oprah speak on Thursday night.   My husband gave me the tickets for Christmas as he assumed I would like to see Oprah.  I have mixed feelings about her.  I know she had done a lot for charity, and I admire the way she has come from nowhere to make her dreams come true.  She has a lot in common with Michael.  And she is also completely different from him.   Although I know Oprah believes in a higher power, she seems to have a bit too big of an ego sometimes.  She is nowhere near as humble as she could be.
And she has been sadly lacking in standing up for Michael.  Although they both are:

African American

born in the fifties

in humble surroundings

difficult childhood

Always had big ideas

thinking outside the box

wanted to make a difference

Believed in their dreams

worked hard

never gave up

became famous

became wealthy

gave much back to the world

inspiring to others

envied by many

judged by some

followed their heart

listened to their guidance

paved the way

                                                                 changed the world

It just seems to me that Oprah did it for herself, and Michael did it for us.

I am giving her copies of Ever After, to give her an chance to see the truth about Michael.  Maybe she will come out with a public apology for not standing up for him earlier.  There is so much she can learn from him.  We all deserve a chance to change!

Ever After for Children

Now that Ever After and Forever Loved are available on Amazon, I am no longer mailing them all out myself.  It saves a lot of time for me, and expense for people ordering, as Amazon offers free shipping on orders over a certain amount.  I still have copies of Ever After from my original order.  These books I am donating to children on request.   It works well for me to send them in sets of 7, because they weigh less than 2 kg and fit perfectly in the boxes I have.  If any of you would like to give books to a school, library, hospital, orphanage or any other cause, I would be happy to donate the books at no charge.  You would only need to pay for the shipping cost.  Please PM me if you are interested.
I feel so happy to be able to do this.  I would love for all children to know about Michael and be inspired by his message of love.

The Four Agreements

I had the wonderful luxury of two weeks away from my business over Christmas and New Year's.   This week we have been getting back into our regular routine.  My husband and I own our business, and we have a few employees, some of whom are related to us and some who are not, but we love them all.
They are much younger than us, all but one are in their twenties.  People in their twenties usually look at life much differently than those of us in our fifties.  I am conscious that I am a role model for them, whether I want to be or not, and I try to set a good example with my behavior.  I have decided to start off this new work year with a guideline that will work well in our business and also give them a good foundation for life.  They are the four agreement, from the book of the same name.

Imagine what the world would be like if we all lived by this philosophy.  The first three are also very important in our relationships with people online, who we don't get to see and talk to in person.  It's easy to take things personally, and make assumptions when we can't hear the person's voice or clarify what they mean.  It is very important to be clear with our words, and be respectful.

Always do your best.  This is one we can learn by watching Michael, he is the ultimate at this.  I focused on practicing this one today, as I have become rather lazy over the last two weeks, and I had the most productive and enjoyable day, even though I was working.  

Happy New Year!

                               Call for Love Devotion  January 1, 2013  Happy New Year!
I love this picture!!!!!!  To me it represents unlimited possibilities, endless fun, dreams fulfilled, and joy beyond imagination.  Elmira said it gives us a jump start on 2013!  I usually am a bit melancholy at New Years, I get attached to the old year, and am a bit apprehensive about the new one, but with Michael in my life I look forward to every minute, every day, every year and eternity.  I am afraid of nothing anymore.  Life is a glorious adventure that keeps expanding and teaching me that Love really is the Answer, that Love is All there is, and the centre of the Love is Michael.

Michael, I am so grateful that You have graced my life with your presence and Your Love.  I am fearless and ready for anything, and oh so happy to be Yours, today and every day, forever and ever.